Sunday, June 08, 2008

The Siberian equator

Here in Cleveland, it hovered in the forties throughout May. We didn't turn the effing heat off until the end of the month. Now a week later, it's in the 90s. We do not have AC.

The house had it when we moved in, but it was an antiquated system that I refused to replace since I am a hissing serpent-headed shrew. (NO ONE living in Northeast Ohio should have AC. Air conditioning is for CANDY-ASSES!)

Besides, we can't afford it if I'm going to purchase important items such as one of these beautiful objects, which I've been fascinated with ever since DogsDon'tPurr left a comment about them here--scroll down, DDP's is the second one.

For the record, I never turn the AC on in the Mini Cooper either.


Despite these sweaty conditions, watch out for cool blogging coming this week. Topics will include a boob-shadow, Madonna, recession-buster posts and at least one good read.

Go ahead and guess what today's completely unrelated graphic is. I just posted it here to eff with everyone.


deangc said...

It's a banana guard. Possibly the second most useless invention ever.

jt said...

Hmm, banana guard makes sense, now that I read it. I was going to go off the deep end here and suggesit looked like a plane being built out of a squash for little people.

Nin Andrews said...

I don't know. It's not another kegel-er, is it?

Amy L. Hanna said...

That's one uber-cool phallus if I ever did see one.

DogsDontPurr said...

Thanks for the shout out!

On that page of corsets, the last row and the third one from the right is somewhat similar to the ones Dan made. Each corset was like a different work of art. Lots of beads, ribbon, velvet, and lace. They were magical and unique.

PDD said...

I feel honoured that dogsdontpurr is PDD reversed.

That's hot.

Anonymous said...

Call me a candy ass (despite my Cleveland upbringing). I have AC in my house, and in my truck. I use both copiously. I also have ceiling fans in every room in my house except the bathrooms, kitchen, and dining room. Here in NC, it was damn near 100 degrees today. Trust me, you'd use AC as much as I do given the same circumstances. In Baghdad, it was 115 plus degrees. You can bet your ass I sought AC at every opportunity. Outside, it felt like your eyeballs were being roasted out of their sockets.

I did both my back and front lawns this weekend, in the afternoon. Even in the morning the temperature isn't that much better. Suffice to say I went through a lot of bottled water and took a bunch of breaks in an AC environment.

Yes, I'm a candy ass. And proudly so here in the south.

The Retired Army Guy

shaina said...

i have a corset. it's HOTT. i love it.
i don't think my parents would want me to go around in it though...tis a tad indecent, though it may be cool.

and as someone who once had a banana explode all over the bottom of her purse, the banana guard seems pretty awesome.

josh williams said...

I ♥ corsets in the proper setting, not on large hairy men but perhaps the more delicate of the sex's the chick errr broad... what I meant to say is I like the photos of the corsets forget the rest of what I said above I would delete but refuse to replace my delete button.
As for Airco I lived without for years, got used to it, but now I use it more for two reasons, I sweat enough throughout my day, also I had a fella come into my house, door unlocked and was surprised to see me when I met him at the door, he said oh shit and then swung the door open and was gone before I could chase him done and ring his neck. So I do not leave my keys out (which is all he stole) and when I go to the pub all downstairs windows are shut and the door is locked, which means I have to carry the damn keys.So to keep curb the neighborhood crime wave at bay I do not leave my downstairs windows open, leading me to turn on the air conditioner. So its not that I am a wuss its just I don't approve of strangers visiting with intent to steal.
All true other than I am kinda of a wuss, but in a very masculine way.

Erin O'Brien said...

I is a banana guard!

It's fascinating who responded to what in this post.

Dean, jt, Nin and Amy responded to the banana guard.

DDP and Shaina responded to the corset.

PDD responded to DDP.

Al the Retired Army Guy (who is NOT a candy-ass, but just lives in a candy-ass state instead of up here in Ohio where he belongs) responded to the AC stuff.

I am unsure what Josh responded to, so I might go over to his place and see if he tried to lace a corset on his air conditioner.

deangc said...

It's not a banana guard. It's a banana prison. A banana crate.

Free the bananas! No more banana oppression.

Erin O'Brien said...

Dean, you are a Man of the Banana.

Chato said...

banana guard? that's too funny.

i was sure it required "d size" batteries...

Jarvis Rockhall said...

Well shucks, if no-one else is going to ask then I will...

Dean? If a banana guard is the second most useless invention ever, then what is the first?

deangc said...