The Cleveland Alps

I live south of Cleveland in the part of Northeast Ohio that has the highest elevation in what is locally known as the secondary snow belt. The primary snow belt is east of the city where lake effect snow pummels the shit out of everything.

Never EVER ask a Clevelander about lake effect snow. They will gas on about it until you're ready to jump off a bridge. Hence, I will leave that discussion for another time and place and instead muse on the Cleveland Alps.

We up here in the Alps got even more snow than the regular snow belt during the blizzard we had earlier this month, which was not a lake effect event, but came from the south instead. (See what I mean? I nearly slipped into that whole lake-effect thing but I stopped myself before I started explaining how a westerly weather system comes over the lake and picks up a shitload of moisture and ... nevermind).

The other thing about the Alps that separates us is temperature. But that's not for all of the Alps, just for my neighborhood. It's always about five degrees colder here (although had it been summer, I'd have said five degrees cooler). And then there's the matter of snow melt.

The last snow in the city is always in my yard.



While the rest of Cleveland has already been through the Big Grey Ice Melt Shit phase, I still have a yard full of snow. And it's not the whole street, but just me and one or two adjacent neighbors.

Sometimes when I'm sequestered in my pod for days writing, it's a real surprise to drive the half mile to the insufferable local discount grocery and discover that no one else has any snow.

Even though the forecast calls for nearly sixty degrees and rain on Monday, I'm honestly not sure my yard will be snow-free on Tuesday. Maybe I should embrace the Alpine culture.

I probably wouldn't look half bad in a dirndl.