Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Oh all right, "bucket" this

I did not see The Bucket List. Hence, I cannot pick or pan it (although I dig Jack Nicholson pretty much no matter what). I did, however, roll my eyes at the features that every hack wrote based on the idea of a "bucket list."

I had to buy my kid a bike for her birthday. I went to Dick's Sporting Goods, which is not the sort of place where I normally want to go. I worry there will be guys in there who lean down on one knee in order to talk conspiratorially about game plans, jock itch and cheerleaders.

I did find two guys.

"Can I see that bike up there?" I said.

"Sure," said one, who wrestled it down for me.

It looked like a pretty good bike. The price was right. My kid is only a few inches shorter than me, so I had a pretty good idea what would be comfortable for her.

"Mind if I ... " I paused and looked down the gleaming aisle of the store, "give this a spin?"

"Sure," said the salesman. "Go right ahead."

I mounted that baby and took off. I glided by the fishing gear. I pedaled past the checkout. I flew next to the footwear--all on a frigid February day in Cleveland.


After a couple of laps, I pulled back into the pit area.

"It's great," I said, "but I'm still not sure."

I tried bike after bike, gloriously veering by other sporting goods shoppers. Even though I decided early on about which bike, I kept trying them out.

Couldn't help myself.

Instead of bending conspiratorially on one knee or talking about cheerleaders, the sales guys said things like, "looking good," as I sailed by. They answered all my questions. They were cool. One talked about his 17-year-old grandson, the other talked about his 17-year-old stepson.

"He's making dinner for his girlfriend tonight."

"What's he making?" I asked.

"Don't know," he said. "The wife's doing all the shopping, though."

Then I tried another bike.

So there it is: my silly "bucket list" feature. Go ahead and roll your eyes. But if you have a "bucket list," consider adding try out a bike at the local sporting goods store in the dead of winter.

We gave the kid the bike yesterday. She test-drove up and down our street in the brisk 30 degree air.

She loved it, but I think she was a little jealous when I told her about how I rode it around the store. "Mom!" she said, "don't ride my bike at the sporting goods store again!"

Okay, kid. Okay.


ajooja said...

Working in a sporting goods store was a blast. I miss those days.

... kind of. :)

Amy L. Hanna said...

LMAO! (Yet, ouch!)
I guess that's the last time you'll be test-driving gifts.

Carla said...

That's it, I'm adding it to my bucket list. This week!!! What a blast.

Anonymous said...

gives "recycling" a whole new meaning.


Hal said...

Baby Goat should ride the bike around the house. She could put that on her bucket list.

Helen Mansfield said...

I agree with Hal! So what if you have stairs? Put a helmet on her and wrap her in bubble wrap.

In my drunken college days, I used to ride down stair cases on an ironing board. I don't know if it's bucket-worthy, but it was fun.

Velvet Fog said...

See, I'm not crazy.
Now take that bike out of Dick's and put it on Ballard Canyon Road just outside of Buellton, CA and you'll be jizzing like a sailor on leave in Thailand.

deangc said...

What the fuck is a bucket list?