Here ye and behold this, the unmarked National Day of FunSize Hell and Damnation on the first day of the month of November in the two thousand seventh year of Our Lord.
Say I: Let it rain down upon me and I shall have no fear. KitKats and Butterfingers and Snickers, Starburst and Reese's and Hershey. Tootsie and Mallow and Milky walk gracelessly with Roll and Cup and Way. Blood sugar be damned.
Bless me Father for I have Sinned.
If thine tooth enamel offend thee, let it decay!
Peace be with you.
Awash in temptation and loosened molar crowns, there before the grace of God go I.
And also with you.
Weakened, I tumble into the fiery pit of partial hydrogenation.