My mother-in-law was old school in every imaginable way. She had a subscription to Reader's Digest since the beginning of time. Whenever Reader's Digest would come out with a book, she would buy a copy as often as not. Hence, as the days after her recent passing unfolded, I had occasion to review Extraordinary Uses for Ordinary Things: 2,317 Ways to Save Money and Time while taking care of business at my inlaw's house.
I read several passages aloud to my brother-in-law. We laughed and marveled over the nearly 30 pages devoted to vinegar. Then I got to the denture tablet section.
I guffawed and rolled my eyes at the entries, imitating the vacuous expression a bland housewife might wear as she steps from bathroom to bathroom, dropping an Efferdent into each of her toilet bowls. I did not admit that the idea of cleaning diamond jewelry with Polident made perfect sense.
One of my daughter's orthodontic appliances requires cleaning with denture tablets, so I am in possession of way too many of them. So as soon as I got home, I quietly stepped into the upstairs bathroom, locked the door and dropped my diamond ring in a container along with a fizzing denture tablet as the book recommended.
It came out brilliantly.
Then next admission is of course hardly even necessary. I will let a picture do the talking for me.
Hence I publicly concede to my mother-in-law as well as the editorial staff at Reader's Digest Books.