Then one of the men turns to me. "And where are you from?" he asks.
"Cleveland," I say. The predictable guffaws and jokes start. I've been hearing this crap my whole life and have no reason to respond. When they finally settle back into their beers, I ask, "And where are you boys from?" They seem to have New York accents. But to my surprise, one of them says, "We're from Gary, Indiana."
Despite the fact that Gary is hardly a garden spot, I bite my tongue, finish my meager supper and leave, wondering if the two of them will get their asses kicked by any one of the big boys at the bar.
That was nearly 18 years ago, but I remembered it today as my hometown reveled in their latest Indian's victory, although you'd hardly know it was a fairly earned Indian's victory. The majority of national headlines and TV spots are about the Yankees losing and the rumors of Joe Torre's imminent dismissal, (although I thought that Steinbrenner was totally out of line and--okay, I'll admit it--Georgie Baby's from the Cleveland suburb of Rocky River--just a stone's throw from where Yours Truly grew up).
Live in Cleveland long enough and you get used to your home town being disparaged. It's particularly bad in sports. Sportscasters almost never fawn over spectacular plays by the Indians or the Browns, instead they point to an "unbelievable" slip on the part of the other team.
Eff off mother effers!
People? The Cleveland team beat the New York team. That's Cleveland on top of New York, which is so much better than beating say Detroit or Indianapolis--which don't think they are better than us. But New York thinks it's better than Cleveland.
KISS OUR ASS!
Beating New York is even better than beating Pittsburgh. And that's saying something when you're from Cleveland.
Now here's a hint. Next time you're going to say some stupid deprecating tired old joke about Cleveland or Gary Indiana or Anytown USA, don't. Just stop. The only result is that you will look bad. Insults for the sake of insults only insult the insulter.
Did I just say that?
Anywhoo, enough already. I've been notably AWOL in the land of blogs and comments lately and I want to do something about it, so for everyone who leaves a comment on this post, I will add a link to your site (or just give you a shout if you don't have a webpage) in the body of this entry. Talk about Cleveland, your town, baseball, me, yourself, sex, hell, I don't care, just tell me what's on your mind and I'll thank you with a link.
Jim Winter know Cleveland. Jim Winter know Cool. Jim Winter know Erin. Jim Winter know.
Velvet Fog is so smooth, I could pour him over ice cream. No? Oh. Um, okay. Then pass the pinot noir baby and turn up the Nina Simone.
Wisdomstuff has a sig other who seems to be a-crying about the poor lil' ol' Yankee-doodles. Tell that man as long as he got you, baby, he got it all!
Well hello there Robert Loy. I've never met a Green Genius printing devil before. Tell you what, BabyCakes, you come on up here to Cleveland and I'll make you homemade split pea soup. Why I have a hambone in the fridge right now and heaven knows I likes me a suh-thun gentlemen once in a while.
A man named Paul
might be short or tall.
He stopped by here
and tossed me a bit of cheer!
Lady Roxy wears sexy socksies. She as gorgeous as can be and left a tag for me!
Wil Harrison has plenty to peruse over at his place, the Trailer of LoveTel. Yummy yumyumyum!
Diane Vogel Ferri is a writer and a mother and an all-round good girl. But most importantly (at least for today), she's an Indian's fan!
Hal Perry and I go way, way, way back--further back than either of us wants to talk about. He lives far away in LA, but used to be a Clevelander. We miss Hal!
Dan comes around here and that's just fine, even if he has a distracted mind.
DanB and me used to be buddies in college. DO NOT ask him if this one goes to eleven!
sxKitten is one honey of a blogger. She's every bit what her name says, has a great mind and smile to boot. What's not to love?
PocketCT fits in the back pocket of my jeans and helps me through every day and I love it.
Sevnetus is a writer and he says he might even take my Anatomy of a Rant class! wootwootwoot! Hope I can teach something useful--better get crackin' on my course content!
Shaina makes blogland a happy and fun place. I love it whenever I see her shining face.
Dean Cochrane claims to be a barking aardvark. He's the only one I know. He's married to a sexkitten to boot.
Lindsay is too adorable to quantify AND she takes in orphaned pets, so she's sweeter than pie. I think I blow some magic sparkle dust her way ...
Whitenoise is a pilot, one of those sexy-looking men who wear those great suits and fly the plane that takes you to your sister's for xmas. Are pilots that sexy when you get to know them? No. They're sexier than that!
Dear James needs smiles and hugs and laughs. And A LOT of extra caution with a certain woodchipper!
Hoosierboy calls Cleveland a garden spot--now there's a man after my own heart.
Ellison called me the sexiest blogger on the Web! Not sure if it's my heart he's after, but I luvs 'im just the same ...
Ajooja claims to be a grampa, but I can hardly believe it! All grampas should be so cool.
Ken Houghton asked about the Goat. He is safe and sound, we all are. Hope you can say the same--it's a good feeling
Ralph has a site called "boobies and beer" Sounds like everyman's favorite pastime!
Dogsdontpurr is a way-cool artist and hip chick all the way around. She also is hothothot in her nude self-portraits. Dogs don't purr, but I do!
Loops O'Fury is another great artist with a nose ring and a penchant for jumping lemurs
The Good Dr. Doug Hoffman likes frogs and ladies and he snores like me, which isn't all that weird until you consider he's an eye, nose and throat man. Hm.
The Good Garrett has been blogging for a long long time. He has recently caught a big fish, knows a thing or two about daughters and has website that is reportedly worth over 533,000,000 clams, so he must be doing something right.
Satan is a good man all the way around. He's currently at work on his latest "art" film: Gary In Diana. I can't wait until it comes out.
Amy is a the wonderfulest buddy in the world. She lives in a magical cottage that floats above Lake Erie and waves her wand around and turns bad mean people into clumps of daisies!
Beth has the cutest feetsies I ever saw. She also knows an old buddy of mine and probably a coupla secrets from him as well. Maybe one day she'll drag ol' DanB up here and we'll all have a time!
Hey Doug! I only have eyes for you!
Thanks for commenting on my blog RJ! You even left a great recommendation ... you are welcome back here any time.
Libby is a Red Sox fan, but I still love her anyway. And besides, we both love men