Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Leery Goat

I often tell my Dearly Beloved he should take comfort in the fact that all of my sexual fantasies about other men basically feature me and the other man having sex precisely as it proceeds in our conjugal bed, it's just that the fantasy man is not my Splendid King.

He gets a confused look on his face, perhaps as he dithers between feeling hugely victorious or darkly threatened.

"Hey, at least you're still the captain of the ship," I offer.

I always get mad when I have a dream that is sexual in nature, but features my husband instead of, say, that one guy who worked at the car place and whose nametag said James. Shouldn't a person be allowed to screw James in a dream without a lot of brouhaha?

So James, if you're out there, hop on over to my dreamland sometime. Just make sure you know how to swing it like a Goat.

12 comments:

Dan said...

You're welcome to dream about me, but those things usually involve a lot of beer, cheese and --for some strange reason-- pink duct tape.

GENESIS said...

LOL...I know how you feel...I KNOW how you feel!

Nothing beats the look on our faces when we've just had a 'James' dream only to roll over and realize it really WAS a dream...

I don't want to dream about James' though...that's my husband's name...lol

Lauren said...

OMG...like WTF?

Wil said...

That reminds me, I need to goat and shave my gruff. Love, Billy

Mone said...

As I was a teenager I was madly in love with my job instructor (if you say it that way, teacher just doesnt sound rigth). He was VERY GOOD looking,just the kind of man I wanted and didnt really want: I cant count how many dreams I had about him.
Anyway, during all those years we remained in contact. He got divorced while I was in America and he was the first man to stand in front of my door as I was back over here. I could not believe my eyes. Because of some kind of dissease he is now like three times as big as I am, the divorce left him with almost nothing and his hair is now gray. BUT, there is still that special relationship we have, we talk about everything without judging the other person. I think I'm still somehow in love with him, after all those years, and yes, he still appears in my dreams once in a while.
How do you like that? ;)

Dean said...

I'll be over as soon as I can fall asleep.

Damn caffeine.

~d said...

(meow!)

HAHA! This is good, E! You know how to tell it, gurrl!

whitenoise said...

funny lady... ;-)

Hal said...

I dream of you often, Ms. McDerfle.

You're a Hooter's girl, and your nametag says, "Erf."

Funny how ironical dreams can be.

Hal said...

erf.

Mongrel Porksword said...

I swing it like a horse!

james2285 said...

Heaaaaay my name is James my name is on my uniform dont know about the goat thing but... think about it Erin
James