Wednesday, October 21, 2009

What is sexy?

One of the things that surfaced during my research for the RealDoll story was the topic of real women. Many of the doll owners complained that "RealGirls" just want good-looking young men or wealthy and powerful men. One even referenced Hugh Hefner and his little darlings and I laughed out loud at my computer screen.

Maybe that's fine for the trophy wives and their respective hunters, but babies, if you want to know sexy, Erin know sexy.

I'm not going to give you that tired old list of looking-into-my-eyes, rubbing-my-feet, champagne and strawberries stuff. I am 44 years old for chrissake. I can do a little better than that. Here goes:

-Overtipping the overworked lunch waitress is sexy (and I mean just slipping a few extra bills under the sugar bowl without making a big showy deal of it).

-I do not miss smoking, but I do miss men lighting my cigarette.

-Whispering something sophisticated and funny in my ear at a dinner party is sexy.

-Work Chinos are sexy. So are the men in them. I don't care about that beer belly, darlin'.

-Desire is sexy. I'm not talking about simply being horny, I'm talking about profound desire, the sort that says I want you. I want to be as close as two people can be, to draw you into me and put my mouth on your mouth and have you so completely that the edges between us blur.

-Taking both my hands in either of your hands and pulling them up above my head and holding them there with our fingers interlaced while we kiss in bed is sexy.

-The concept of coupling is sexy.

-I've watched many people climax. Almost all of them get a smoky satisfied look in the moment between the apex and the denouement--arguably the very essence of sexy.

The sexiest thing a man can do is love women for who they are, for their crow's feet and bad coffee and tears.

86 comments:

Carla said...

Very nicely done! And yes, sexy, sexy, sexy!!!

ajooja said...

The little things always mean more than everything else.

shaina said...

erin o'brien, you make me happy.
and sad, because i have nobody to be sexy with :-(
i love the picture at the top. it's a keeper.

nadina said...

that was beautiful

EBEZP said...

Can't say it better than nadina, beautiful. Specially the desire....wow, you've got it right there!
I have a permanent link to HNT Anon on The Gutter Press. It's great and as you highlighted for both men and women!
Lovely post Erin oh and I'm just going to join your fan club!
Woo.

Steve said...

Erin

This is right on the mark. I could not agree more. Wonderfully done. Sexy is what you make of it. I have seen my girlfriend eat Jello that made me go WOW! And she was just eating it. Thanks for the dedication.

The ever maddening Steve McQueen. :-)

~d said...

Wonderful post! (yay!)

~d said...

Erin I want to eat Jane...

dennyshane said...

yeah yeah... words are cheap... I don't a YouTube, graphical and sleazy, and smutically arousing, etc

Hugs in a nice way

Bobby Farouk said...

Smoky is a well chosen word.

jamwall said...

so that was YOU peering in my window last night. i always do that when i'm watching "golden girls." its my body!

Hal said...

Nadina stole my thunder.

Erin, this is beautiful.

It made me weep.

Now that I'm all done being a sapass, I want to eat ~d and Jane.

Oh, and...

GO CAVS!!!

Loops O'Fury said...

Trooth! It's wonderful to find little kernels of lust in the mundane.

Doug said...

Both pictures are glorious, O'Brien. Love that heada hair.

You're dead-on correct with this one. And just a note to Shaina: I have faith you'll find someone to be sexy with.

Hope Dangling said...

AND - long flowing hair...nice.

Toby said...

I love it, it tells the truth on all levels. But sometimes truth isn't good enough and people need more. Not me, I don't need more, truth and I are well suited. ;-)

SleekPelt said...

Erin, you most certainly know sexy.

jungle jane said...

My word Erin, looks like we have a banquet on our hands...

zen wizard said...

On the "guys with their names on their shirts," does it have to be a studly name like "Vince" or "Mack," or can it be a wussy name like "Cody" or "Dylan"?

What about those Generation Y-normal-names-that-are-deliberately-spelled-wrong, like "Jaymee" or "Andruw"?

If I see a guy with the "Pisces" or "Cassadee" on his shirt, you can have sympathy sex with him after I'm done kicking his ass.

jamwall said...

did i miss the sex post again???

Renee Somebody said...

Me, I think that Erin=Sexy ;) She is smart, funny, articulate, and brings us all here to talk about who-all we wanna eat!
(Is t too late to join in the buffet? Because, wow... imagine all the bounty spread before us!)
And I love your & the Goat's expression in the first picture. Very naughty/seductive

emmapeelDallas said...

This is such a terrific post about what is sexy. No surprise, you've nailed it.

Judi

Divana said...

This song is so sexy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2hoP9CllbI

Oh man Erin, it's so true. Nothing is more sexy than a man to wipe your tears. And god knows we have many of those.

Yes, down right dirty human nature is sexy.

Very well said Erin, you sexy thang!

Love you!

Divana

Jozee said...

finding a man who'll stick around to do any or all of the above is sexy. congrats erin!

Amy L. Hanna said...

Goooo NUANCE!

Madeleine said...

Thank you for your ommission of corny cliches! Nice post

<3

Frankenstein Creative Inc. said...

Post is sexy...can blog be sexy..http://tashiwangdi.blogspot.com/ An Antivirus blog.........Congrates blog of notes.

Anonymous said...

Do you ever post comments on other blogs using the name Try Again? Just wondering.

Erin O'Brien said...

Hi anon,

"Try Again" was not me. I am just regular Erin O'Brien!

Thanks to all for reading and commenting!

rachel said...

First time reading your blog...and thank you for that post...it made me smile and made me remember why I do want to date...bc somewhere out there, men do still do those things (maybe)

Melissa Blake said...

Congrats on being a Blog of Note! I'm glad I found your blog!

filmgirl said...

right on about everything...except the "work chinos"...1. what is that and 2. really?

hey, we all have our weaknesses...mine is well worn sneakers...not the "I'm your friend's dad's sneakers" but the "I'm a rock star/artist/writer sneakers".

Oberon said...

...i invite you to join globalove think tank.

Chrissy said...

Yay, fellow Clevelander! Congrats on being Blog of Note.

Chrissy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RestlessCrafter said...

I am lovin' the sexy kiss. Simply perfect.

Little said...

I just started dating a special guy and he does almost all those things, with the exception of being a generous tipper.

I'm thinking I'll keep him around ;)

Love the blog,
Button

talesNtypos said...

Glad I happened upon this.

Sarah said...

The epitome of sexy is your husband telling you to stay in bed and sleep in while he gets the baby. Oh my goodness...if I were not so tired...(insert your own lusty fantasy here)

Banco de Imágenes Gratuitas said...

CONGRATULATIONS!

Blog of Note

Cheers and best regards from Canada.

-Jose Luis

redrover said...

i had no idea it could get so...specific! thank you for enlightening me :D

Carol Emery said...

It drives me absolutely nuts. The guy pulls up in his flashy red Ferrari, steps out wearing some overpriced Armani suit, speaking with some chauvinistic spanish accent. Then it's done. Just like that and he's stated his genenormous superiority.

The ladies are stepping over each other as they rush to display themselves to him; their fake breasts that scream to be let out of a shirt that was never designed to contain them.

Chivalry is dead, it died with my late husband.

Dwacon® said...

Amen

Ingrid Gomez said...

I really love the bills part... I just found your blog today, and I completely love it.

http://makingtodayyourday.blogspot.com/

Glass Houses said...

I think rusty, beat up, well worked pick-up trucks are sexy.

Also, hands. Hands with wide palms and callouses and big knuckles and blunt fingertips and veins that pop up from the skin, and motor oil under the neatly trimmed fingernails. Hands are sexy.

Rachel Leastlikely said...

just wanted to say hello and thank you for the depth, breadth, and humanity of the content on this blog! wow! glad i check blogs of note regularly.

and i agree with much of what you say about porn n sexy. how on earth did the so-called professionals manage to make sex so boring?? i often wonder at it.

Jen Yoder said...

Awesome blog! You should give men a lesson on how to sweep a woman off their feet. Some need an overdue lesson these days!

VictorStephens said...

Beautiful Blog of Note. Intellectually written. You have made the 'sexy' sound so beautiful, so wonderful. While reading your post, i started feeling sexy myself. You have made 'sexy' so gentle to touch.
Wonderful, Wonderful. I have listed your blog under VIP blog list.

my work said...

sex in my life for first position

The villager: said...

Really nice blog, Erin.

blessingsgoddess said...

Congratulations !

Tonya said...

Found your blog through blogs of note :) All I can say is "too true" great and interesting post!

A Good Moroccan said...

Fascinating debate !

Sara Louise said...

I couldn't agree more! Especially the not smoking but missing having a man light your secret bit. I didn't even know that I missed that until I read that line. And yes, so so very sexy!

robert crane said...

finally erin, a blog of note that's a blog worth noting. congrats to both you and google crew.

about the post, even though i don't buy "lighting a cigarette" since i don't find smokin' women sexy, i hear ya on the rest, although i personally find sexy to be that unexpected glance into her beauty that only i see.

Miss Journey said...

Great list! Points 1, 3, 5, 6, and 9 are particularly my fave.

Ron Sitka said...

Erin:

What a great outlook on a relationship! In two weeks my wife and I will be married for 31 years and I still find all the little things very sexy. Frumpy flannel pajamas can be sexy. Our early morning walks when we talk about kids and grandkids are sexy. Even the fact that I hate watching Dr. Phil late at night and she loves it is sexy. It's not taken for granted but it's comfortable. Sounds like you know the feeling.

Recessionista Genie said...

Nice Blog of Note! There are so many kinds of sexy... I think our airbrush culture has taken all the passion out of so-called sexiness.

Hello from Michissippi!

Tamara said...

I'm 50 now...don't give a rat's patoot about being or feeling sexy anymore..can't tell you how liberating it feels!

John Ettorre said...

No mystery why this got such an avalanche of comments, Erin. You no doubt speak for millions of baby boomers on this. Nicely done.

VideoDude said...

Well, we know what most of us think about now. The most comments Erin's had on a post in a few weeks! Erin and the Goat know sexy!!!!!

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

A man doing housework = very very sexy.

Miss Priss said...

I agree with the others in that I am happy I followed that little "blogs of Note" link.

Thanks for the reminders Erin.

I needed them!

Chris said...

Oh yes, Erin know sexy. Real, honest, genuine sexy. This is how I want to live my life.

What A Lame Excuse said...

pure hotness good post to get blogs of note on! haha

Hazel Eyes said...

The things that make a women go crazy in love.. :)

Michael Todd Cohen said...

Love, love, love the last sentence.

Cabbage soup recipe said...

well said!

Cabbage Soup Diet

shady80baby said...

very indulging hmmmm lol

suzilu said...

that is so true. just loved it also loved the twitter comment about a 4 hours erection. Yeh I would 2

Entrepreneur Chick said...

I have entertained myself for a good part of the afternoon @ your blog!

I read the vampires, the dolls, the hospital- visted uh... the faces of death- (don't tell) found that guy who wrote a book about asylums.

My goodness. And I can come here all the time? Get out!

OpenlyClosed said...

I totally agree with you darling! Very nicely put!!

mcfeet said...

here here.... agree completely with you on this - and im only 21!

Just me.... said...

Thank you...

Gretchen said...

Oh I just absolutely LOVE this! Yes, I certainly don't get the Hugh Heffner thing...kind of gross in my book and absolutly nothing to do with sexy. Real sexiness reveals true confidence and vulnerability, honesty and integrity, love and humilty. Thanks for the awesome post! I'll be back. ~Gretchen

Mrs. Nibori said...

I found this blog in Blogs of Note, and LOVED this post! I showed it to my husband who agreed that it was a great post, then said, "I refuse to tolerate bad coffee though" promptly followed by "JUST KIDDING!"

I do agree with everything you said, you nailed everything on the head about what IS sexy! (I especially loved the bit about the smoky, satisfied look)

Awesome!!!

Nicole said...

SO right about the tipping! I always appreciated that when I used to waitress

www.lifemakesmelol.blogspot.com

But said...

haven't u alr posted quite a similar post?

Anonymous said...

Love the sexy!

An honest guy said...

I've always found reading glasses quite sexy. Is that a strange thing to admit?

Erin O'Brien said...

Welcome to all the new readers who found me via "Blogs of Note" and thanks for all the wonderful comments.

I hope you'll keep coming back.

Baking Momma said...

sexy is cleaning the house or doing the dishes without me having to ask. Especially in just his underwear! *wink* great blog! Really enjoying this.

lerae said...

Sexy indeed....Sexy is everywhere, my boyfriend never looks sexier than when he gets home from work all dirty and sweaty with his hair all disheveled. So manly....and sexy. Great job Erin

Julie88 said...

i love your last sentences. That's true. Just love women for who they are...some men often forget it!

Brian O'Mara-Croft said...

Is sitting around all day in a bathrobe while your wife slaves away at her job for 12 hours a day sexy? I thought so, but some may disagree.

Very nice post.

Cheers,
Brian

Rebekah Doak said...

Found you on blogger's "blogs of note"... to me, sexy is my husband doing the dishes or making dinner without prompting, and wanting nothing in return. To me it says respect and care.