Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Rain Day Woman, vol. 17

In my column this week, I outline the Beer Test. It is important to note that the Goat, father of the Goat and father of Erin all passed the beer test with flying colors--many times in fact.

Incidentally, I've passed a few Beer Tests myself.

Now then, seems my kid's arm is a bit more broke then they thought, so while I'm chasing around hospitals and doctors, I ask all of you bloggers to spill your own Beer Test stories in the comment section.

If you have something to say about my column, please email the Free Times. Be sure to include your full name and city. Frank Lewis is the editor.


EBEZP said...

Beer test? a toally new one on me Erin but I now know whenever I might be involved in the future!
Hope the kids arm is soon fixed up right.

Maureen McHugh said...

A bit more broke than they thought? Oh man. Hope her cast is in a cool color.

dollguy said...

In college I used to take dates to a great little hole in the wall that had particularly messy BBQ beef sandwiches. I mean really messy.

If they couldn't figure out to just pick the damn thing up and take the inevitable sloppy bite, there was no second date.

That was my Beer Test.

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. My best to her.

The Fool said...

Beer Test? A "pee-pad" on the back of a motorcycle is a good test. If they respond, "You expect me to set on that?" - well, forget 'em. If they respond, "Well, I'll give it a try." - there's a possiblity. If she just jumps on the pad, squinches her crotch around on it and says, "Fuck yeah! The moisture will help me stay put, and no sissy bar will ensure I stay awake. Let's roll." - well, you've got a keeper.


shaina said...

i'm sorry about your kid. i've been very lucky (*knocks on wood*) to have not broken anything or needed surgery except wisdom teeth in my 19.5 years...

i guess my version of the beer test would be measuring people's reactions when i inevitably have to tell them about my terrible eating habits/problems. #1 on the list--i DONT LIKE PIZZA. le gasp. people who also don't like pizza are immediate love. people who dont go on and on and on about how EVERYONE likes pizza are also cool. #2 on the list--no veggies for shaina. blech. most people think i'm nuts. the ones who love me anyway and don't push me too much everytime we eat are cool.
thats all i can think of.

Ken Houghton said...

Another standard being made less common by technology.

And a whole webpage worth bookmarking, or at least perusing in fright.

Doug said...

For our first date, the woman I'd later marry came over to my college apartment for dinner. I fixed her a very nice dinner (with a Napa Valley wine, so I guess I fail the beer test right from the get-go) and them my roomie and I proceeded to make some of the worst sexist jokes out there. See, back then, I thought feminism was sexy, but knee-jerk, hostile, chip-on-the-shoulder feminism was NOT sexy. So we were trying to make sure she was in the first camp and not the second. She passed with flying colors, of course.

As for your beer test, I wish I could steal this concept for my NiP. My hero soooo fails your beer test it ain't funny, but he still gets the girl. Can I steal it if I kiss your butt in the acknowledgments? Can I can I can I? (I could send you the relevant scene -- you'd see what I mean right away.)

Erin O'Brien said...

I love all your beer tests!