Friday, June 29, 2007

Granted

Filling out a grant application is like extended bad coitus with an inept partner who suffers from halitosis without benefit of lubrication--either natural or supplemental.

I was however, heartened to see this in the latest application I am filling out:

"NOTE: Writers concerned only with doing research on art history are not eligible to apply."

Good to see those effers getting the slip right off the bat. That's right, art history researchers, get back on the bus you mothers! No grant money for you.

Ha!

9 comments:

The Fool said...

All "history" research is an "art." Even checking one's own memory. Happy Friday, Erin. "Nobody's Fool" is rockin' right now..."I Ain't No Angel..."

:)

Jesus Toast said...

I've never applied for a grant. Can you tutor me?

I think I could use a grant. I'd like one. I need to do some research into the history of stuff, like art.

Plus, I loved the movie "My Tutor" with Caren Kaye (one of the first sets of breasts I ever saw naked).

Trée said...

Yeah beotches! Never did like those art history effers. They always gave the rest of us legitimate history researchers a bad name.

EBEZP said...

What a wonderful description of filling out an application.
What exactly is art history anyway?

Norm said...

Can I quote you on this?

Funny, because true.

Jim Winter said...

"Filling out a grant application is like extended bad coitus with an inept partner who suffers from halitosis without benefit of lubrication"

Appropo of nothing, do I need to invest in Scope, Vaseline, and a copy of the Kama Sutra?

Doug said...

Vaseline? Vaseline?

Astroglide, Jim; or, if my gay friends can be trusted, Gun Oil, which is Teh New Astroglide.

Jim Winter said...

"Vaseline? Vaseline?

Astroglide, Jim"

I'm just an old fashioned kinda guy, Doug.

The Duchess said...

Halitosis without lubrication really is the worst kind.