In my column this week, read up on infomercials. The YouTube video attached herein was just one of the inspirations for this epic love story.If you have something to say about it, please email the Free Times. Be sure to include your full name and city. Frank Lewis is the editor.
8 comments:
Somewhere I have some tapes that were going to teach me how to remember anything.
I forgot where I put them, though.
My favorite was the old Don LePre ads. Don would scream at the top of his coke-fueled lungs:
"With THREE TINY CLASSIFIED ADS, Yeeeeewwwwwww can make... THOW-zands... and THOW-zands... of... [Wait for it] DOLLARS!"
Oh, and let's not forget Bobby "Hey, what stinks in here?" Tilton asking for "a vow of faith, a thousand dollar vow of faith..."
Does the blonde come with the package?
"no, really, ANYONE can take this!"
does that mean i could take it too? cuz i'm anyone, even though i'm a girl...i kinda wanted to smack her, and then give her the number of a plastic surgeon to get rid of those monsters on her chest that are probably gonna give her scoliosis...
the article is also cool. my personal favorites, though, are the kitchen products--like those tupperware-esque containers that all fit in that cute little turnaround, and come with all those lovely knives, oh, and a salad spinner too! or the food processor that can pulvarize golf balls! oo!
The last one you talk about has to be the weirdest I've seen. Watching that woman breath the way she does scared me.
"Eventually, I'm just watching the video and sipping a beer." - Hahaha!!!
Great column as always, Erin.
A current one that makes me laugh a little is the tiny blender thingy. It's pretty obnoxious how excited the people are over the little thing, but what's best is when the old hag comes on camera smoking a cig.
Totally off topic. Erin, what the hell is this. It's from last summer. Do you know if the over grown rat was ever captured or is it still breeding in the streets of Cleveland? :-)
Chicks don't care as long as you go down on them and eat there poon and are rich. Those whores on that talk show probably fist each other and have coochies wider that Mrs. 1989s beaver hunts grand canyon gaping twat.
I bet that big schlong Ron Jeremy couldn't even churn a teaspoon of cream out of those tired ass butter gutters if you know what Im saying.
Dean: Oh yeah! I remember those!
J. Winter: The farting Tilton vids still make me fall down laughing.
Henri: I think the blonde ought to come with a warning.
Shaina: Good question. I wonder if eXtenz would make a woman's labia get larger.
Toby: The Magic Bullet! I love that infomercial, particularly the hungover guy. As far as that weird Cleveland rat is concerned, haven't seen 'em. Mebbe someone caught him and fried him up for dinner.
Mr. Bostick: Well then, nice to have you back and with grand cultural commentary at that. I'm sure all of our male readers here at the Owner's Manual appreciate your advice!
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