For a variety of reasons, I couldn't give a shit about Chistmas this year, but thanks to you, I can at least get a laugh at the expense of he pageantry and over the top ridiculousness that is part and parcel with the season.
That said, Happy Holidays to you O'Brien. From my sneering grinchy scroogy heart....You are awesome, and I love you.
the local competitor to home depot is featuring an inflatable chimney that you place on your lawn. santa's feet (pointed upwards) goes up and down and up and down and up and down.....)
nice, Erin...best column yet, in my opinion (now come over to Hudson and we'll steal one of those suckers for your daughter...I know of one lawn that has 7 or 8 and right now there's no snow around and the cops can't track us down when we run!)
My favourite thing about those inflatable monstrosities is when they're all lying around on the ground in the morning making the place look like some form of demented massacre had taken place.
Those things are proliferating like farookin rabbits in my little town. It started out with one Santa and one snowman. Now they're everywhere. I think they're having sex when everyone's asleep.
I love all tacky decorations myself. As long as they're on someone else's lawn.
15 comments:
Hahaha, who needs a santabear on the front lawn? Hahaha.
I like the end of the story, I was so sure you would give in to your daugthers begging ;)
Booooo! Bah, Humbug! Coal in your stocking! What would Salvation Army Man say? You're a mean one, Mrs. Grinch.
But we love you anyway.
FITZ
For a variety of reasons, I couldn't give a shit about Chistmas this year, but thanks to you, I can at least get a laugh at the expense of he pageantry and over the top ridiculousness that is part and parcel with the season.
That said, Happy Holidays to you O'Brien. From my sneering grinchy scroogy heart....You are awesome, and I love you.
Sleepy
If you don't buy an $80 inflatable Christmas polar bear then the terrorists have already won.
CONSUME.
Christmas is becoming the enemy of Americans. Look how much debt we incur because of ONE DAY!
I like beer.
the local competitor to home depot is featuring an inflatable chimney that you place on your lawn. santa's feet (pointed upwards) goes up and down and up and down and up and down.....)
kinda sexual if you ask me.
nice, Erin...best column yet, in my opinion
(now come over to Hudson and we'll steal one of those suckers for your daughter...I know of one lawn that has 7 or 8 and right now there's no snow around and the cops can't track us down when we run!)
My favourite thing about those inflatable monstrosities is when they're all lying around on the ground in the morning making the place look like some form of demented massacre had taken place.
Mone: I must admit, those kids were having a time with the big bear.
Winter: **kisses**
Fitz: I am not, however, green.
Sleepy: Thanks guy. And same to you.
McD: Sorry Sir! will eradicate this right away!
Enemy: No fucking SHIT!
Bostick: I like beer too.
Jam: Oh great. Now I'm horny again and my husband's at work.
Carter: Now that is a grinchy venture even I might endorse.
Dean: I also like the ones with little leaks that make them half-erect ... or should I say .... fluffy?
It's an inflation nation.
Right now it seems like you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting one of those mechanical reindeer.
Lots of lights configured as choo-choo trains this year as well.
Now that I think of it, there are some quite opulent Christmas displays around here this year.
None to match Neleah Park, however!
NBV: Are you talking about lawn ornaments or erections?
Hal: Nela Park is here, but alas, no snow for you! See you soon.
Those things are proliferating like farookin rabbits in my little town. It started out with one Santa and one snowman. Now they're everywhere. I think they're having sex when everyone's asleep.
I love all tacky decorations myself. As long as they're on someone else's lawn.
Libby: You're right! They are having sex! I just saw a giant Grinch giving it to a blow-up she-elf. Filthy bastards ...
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