Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Let's talk orgasm


A blogger who chooses to remain anonymous* forwarded this link, "How to Reach the Ever-Elusive Female orgasm" to me, saying that when he read it, he thought of me.

Thank you Mr. Anonymous.

I found the essay to be very interesting although some of the points made therein begged commentary. I'll start with the title, then I'll elaborate on a few quotes taken from the essay.

"How to Reach the Ever-Elusive Female orgasm"

Isn't it fascinating that Madam chose to capitalize How and Reach and Ever and Elusive and Female, but left "orgasm" in lower case letters along with the lowly "to" and "the"? Based on the content of the entire essay, I would have thought "orgasm" was important enough to garner a capital O. Silly me.

"Also, many women are sensitive to the smell of their vaginas, so be polite."

To elaborate: when Madam's thighs are gloriously open and Sir nuzzles his jowls therein, he should refrain from shouting out with horror, "Jesus effing Christ! Someone pass me that can of Lysol!"

"Whatever you do, do not go 99-cent menu on her ass and overeat her."

Sir can also look for any number of signs that indicate he is "overeating" Madam. For instance, if Sir continues to lap away while Madam pages through an old issue of Better Homes and Garden's, Sir might consider ending the session. If Madam engages herself with ordering a pizza, the grooming of her fingernails, yawning, or using the remote control in order to change the telly from The Food Network to E!, Sir might infer that Madam is "overeaten."

"I’m constantly thinking about the scent, appearance and general well being of my beloved vagina."

Isn't this nice? Clearly Madam is conscientious. I attempted to think of other nouns that one might use in place of vagina in this sentence. The best I could do was "hair."

Remember that sex is supposed to be fun!

I was delighted to see that Madame thought enough of this assertion to give it an exclamation point! The idea does stand alone, however, I thought a carefully worded (although not too ponderous) nod to safety was in order. Perhaps something along the lines of, "Remember to keep your vagina clean and well-lubricated for your partner's safety and convenience."

The most important thing I took away from Madam's musings was a new appreciation of my advanced age. Since the essay was for a college publication, I assume Madam to be under 25. All I can say is I hope when she reaches her forties, the first two words of the phrase "usually unattainable, ultimate goal: the female orgasm" will no longer be pertinent for her.


*Why is it always this way with me? There is Boy Writer, Mr. Beautiful, and the starry twinkle who submitted today's topic to me. People want to interact with me. They just don't want anyone to know they interacted with me. Hm.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

Elusive?

pshaw.

nadina said...

I have a splitting headache in my eye balls, yes eyeballs .My eyes are trying to adjust to new glasses/lens. I got Erin's book in the mail and I can't even finish a line yet!! I am so pissed but I can find solice in ....I can have orgasms when ever I want, I smell great and have a cute twat.Now should I sign off as anonymous.Hell no....

n said...

oh and I skimmed todays blog so who the knows if I am even talking about the topic

Brookelina said...

Do men worry about the smell of their bits and pieces? I think not.

Norm said...

I care.
- Luke Skywalker

Norm said...

Oh sheet. I finally clicked the link. LMAO. Worst. frinkin. student. newspaper. EVAR.

Bugwit Homilies said...

I have yet to attain female orgasm. The wife has them all the time, though. Okay, once in a while. Damnit, we never do it!

But when we do, baby...look out!

Heavy sighs are a good indicator of over-eating btw. As is a tap on the shoulder. So I hear.

Mongrel Porksword said...

I don't even bother with that orgasm business. I just bend her over and plough the back 40.

sxKitten said...

40's? You're going to make her wait that long?

You cruel thing, you.

Mone said...

why woul they keep the orgasm in small letters?
because men dont usually care if the wife has one or acts like she has one, thats why, because they dont give a damn!

Erin O'Brien said...

Merk: oh the lucky girl who gets to wake up next to you each day

Nadina: "I smell great and have a cute twat" for this, I have the profoundest of respect. And yes, you are talking about the topic and even if you weren't, who would possibly care?

Brook: An excellent question. Do men worry about that? I'm sure some more than others. And I daresay I'm not going to elaborate and belie my experience on the topic.

Norm: Of course you do darling. After all, Carrie Princess Leia Fischer doesn't undo those cinnamon roll buns for just anyone.

Bug: I shall have take my next orgasm and box it up and send it along. You can put it in the curio cabinet and show it to company.

Pork: (see comments above) For some reason, I'll bet your bits and pieces are no bed of roses.

skK: All's due that comes due. (???--now even I don't know what I'm talking about)

Dean said...

Elusive? Only if you don't know what you're doing. A little time, a little attention to detail, et voila. Orgasm.

Sometimes I envy women their ability to have multiples.

~d said...

I heard a rumor once that chicks 'peak' in their early 30's. And dudes 'peak' in their 20's.

Well, the 20's weren't it, so I am not a dude. The EARLY 30's weren't it, so I am not a chick.

Now I will have to use what brain cells I have left to figure out what I am.

(maybe I need to have another (lowercase) orgasm).

I'll be back.

Bugwit Homilies said...

O'Brien: Thank you. Dvd or VHS will work fine.

Tildy: Maybe you are peaking right now!

Denny Shane said...

Erin, you invite me over for dinner on my blog... tell me Campbell's Soup is for dinner... I not only had to read THIS post and ask "what the hell... this has nothing to do with soup"

THEN my eyes just happen to be drawn to the picture below of you unashamedly flashing your toes... and there is was... you think I want Campbell's Smelly Toe Soup now?

But I still love ya ;)

josh williams said...

I personally have not had a female orgasm, but I have heard tell that I have been with women that have, with me no less?

Doug said...

Is it possible to overeat? I think not!

As for smell, some of us guys luuuurve it, baby. Those men who complain about it are a bunch o' pussies.

Erin O'Brien said...

Dean: Multiples sounds so mathematic. We should have a special word for multiple orgasms. Morgasms? Plorgasms?

~d: You are tilde! Wait'll your 40's (hmm)

Bug: I'm not entirely sure I can attach the orgasm to a video device. Will see what I can do.

Denny: I use whatever means I must in order to lure my victims!

Josh: The question mark at the end of your comment is most puzzling?

Doug: Wow. That was a four-u luuuurve!

Zen Wizard said...

"Also, many women are sensitive to the smell of their vaginas, so be polite."

Captain Digital, the Head of the Reconnaissance Finger Battalion, has taken the "Oath of Secrecy."

And his reports are kept in the strictest confidence...

Winters said...

The sweet smell is merely the tip of the iceberg.

Toby said...

I love interacting with you, my name is Toby.

As of late both my "Anon" and me have found great pleasure when I go down on her. I enjoy it almost as much as she. The last time I almost drowned when she grabbed the back of my head and pulled me in tight while she had... what was it called, oh yeah her "Ever-Elusive" ORGASM.

By the way Erin, I was bored at work as usual and I came upon this just yesterday.

Friends of McDougal said...

Anyone who thinks ANYTHING is elusive is lazy. Not everything is just going to come knock on your door. Sometimes you have to mount an expedition. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to pull on my pith helmet and head out into the bush.

wwwriter said...

Best part of the article: (in my 40-something opinion, that is)

No one should be given an A+ for half-ass work. Ladies, if it isn’t working for you, please do the whole female population a favor and do not fake it.

Yep, that's the smartest thing the writer wrote....

Satan said...

we have added a new item to satans workshop that may just help with this little orgasm issue

DykesDog said...

Who would have guessed, wait, never mind, Bostick would never remain anonymous.

Erin O'Brien said...

Zen: And when you die, Geraldo Rivera will have a two-hour special, "The Opening of the Reports of Captain Digital's Oaths of Secrecy"

Winters: Shall I warm the brandy, darling?

Toby: You give good comment. And that link! Jesus Christ, is that real?

Friends: I'm imagining a graphic of your in your pith helmet in the bush as an "elusive" orgasm erstwhile knocks on your door.

carter: If a man can't tell a faker, he's a doof--more on that later.

satan: Isn't it wonderful that we can all be so intimate while innocently perched at our respective keyboards. I just love you.

DD: Did you order one too! Let's have a party!

Toby said...

I think it is. You be the judge.

Erin O'Brien said...

Toby: I surfed around that page and now I'm freaked out.

Menstrual cups? Lysol douche? Assorted discharge?

Can't we all just side with Nadina's language and think of them as "cute twats?"

Henri Banks said...

In a human male orgasm, there are rapid, rhythmic contractions of the prostate, urethra and the muscles at the base of the penis, which typically forces stored semen to be expelled through the penis's urethral opening. This is referred to as ejaculation. The process generally takes from three to ten seconds and is usually considered highly pleasurable.

Orgasm is generally induced by direct stimulation of the penis.

As a man ages, it is normal for the amount of ejaculate to diminish, and hence, the length of time the man sustains orgasm also diminishes somewhat. This does not normally affect the pleasurable feeling of orgasm, but merely shortens the duration of it.

Following ejaculation, a refractory period usually occurs during which a man cannot have another orgasm. This period can be anywhere from less than a minute to over half a day, depending on age and other individual factors.

Male prostate orgasm

Some men are able to achieve orgasm through stimulation/massage of the prostate. Men reporting the sensation of prostate stimulation often give descriptions similar to women's accounts of G-spot stimulation. Other men report finding anal penetration or stimulation of any kind to be painful, or simply that they derive no pleasure from it. With sufficient stimulation, the prostate can also be "milked". Providing that there is no simultaneous stimulation of the penis, prostate milking can cause ejaculation without orgasm. When combined with penile stimulation, some men report that prostate stimulation increases the volume of their ejaculation. Sperm move at a slow steady rate from the testes to the prostate where they are ready for orgasm. Sperm is then expelled though the urethra.

Dry Orgasm

A dry orgasm is a sexual climax that does not result in ejaculation. The term only refers to orgasms experienced by males, as female ejaculation during climax is less common. Boys who masturbate before the age of puberty will usually only experience dry orgasms, if they experience any climax at all. Boys who experience dry orgasms can often produce multiple orgasms, as the need for a rest period, the refractory period, is reduced. Some males consider dry orgasm to feel uncomfortable or even painful, some find them more intense. Other men practice to achieve multiple orgasms, some of which by necessity must be dry.

Dry orgasms can be achieved deliberately by putting pressure on the perineum (the beginning of the urethra between the anus and testicles) immediately after orgasm. This will cause the urethra to be closed during ejaculation and thus no semen will leave the penis. This however may cause some pain in the testicles and around the anus. Damage may be caused to ejaculation-related parts of body including the ejaculatory ducts and vas deferens. This can also be done by contracting the same muscles directly after orgasm as those used to forcefully stop urination. This can take some practice, but many men who master it report longer, more intense orgasms, or even the capability of having multiple orgasms.

Dry orgasms may also occur in men who ejaculate multiple times in a short period such as an hour, after the first few ejaculations have used up the available stored seminal fluid. This condition is self-limiting, as after a few hours the supplies of seminal fluid will be replenished by the prostate gland and seminal vesicles.

Men who have had their prostate removed, (usually as a result of prostate cancer), may also experience dry orgasms.

Another cause of dry orgasms is retrograde ejaculation, where the semen flows into the urinary bladder, rather than through the urethra to the outside.

The term "dry orgasm" is also used for a form of mind-body orgasm where the mind experiences orgasm without attempted ejaculation. This type of dry orgasm is one of the goals of Tantric sex.

Male multiple orgasms

It is possible to have an orgasm without ejaculation (dry orgasm) or to ejaculate without reaching orgasm. Some men have reported having multiple consecutive orgasms, particularly without ejaculation. In recent years, a number of books have described various techniques to achieve multiple orgasms. Most multi-orgasmic men (and their partners) report that refraining from ejaculation results in a far more energetic post-orgasm state. Additionally, some men have also reported that this can produce more powerful ejaculatory orgasms when they choose to have them.

One technique is for the man to put pressure on the perineum, about halfway between the scrotum and the anus, just before ejaculating to prevent ejaculation. This can, however, lead to retrograde ejaculation, i.e. redirecting semen into the bladder. It may also cause long term damage due to the pressure put on the nerves and blood vessels in the perineum. Other techniques are analogous to reports by multi-orgasmic women indicating that they must relax and "let go" to experience multiple orgasms[citation needed]. These techniques do not involve suppressing ejaculation in the manner described above, but rather involve mental and physical controls that channel sexual energy throughout the body. Reportedly, successful implementation of these techniques can result in multiple "full-body" orgasms in some men. Recently, a patented prostate stimulator developed by urologists (the Aneros) claims to bring the possibility of intense multiple dry orgasms to many men. This device has been described as "tantric training wheels" as it claims to assist men in training their body to reach these kinds of orgasms.

Some young men have enough stamina, and may experience sufficient stimulation, that the penis never goes flaccid during the refractory period. Very soon after one orgasm, they may be erect and able to experience another orgasm .

Internet rumors and a few scientific studies have pointed to the hormone prolactin as the likely cause of the male refractory period. Because of this, there is currently an experimental interest in drugs which inhibit prolactin, such as Dostinex (also known as Cabeser, or Cabergoline). Anecdotal reports on Dostinex suggest it may be capable of eliminating the refractory period altogether, allowing men to experience multiple ejaculatory orgasms in rapid succession. At least one scientific study supports these claims.[4] Dostinex is a hormone altering drug and has many potential side effects. It has not been approved for treating sexual dysfunction. Another possible reason may be an increased infusion of the hormone oxytocin. Furthermore, it is believed that the amount by which oxytocin is increased may affect the length of each refractory period.

A scientific study to successfully document natural, fully ejaculatory, multiple orgasms in an adult man was conducted at Rutgers University in 1995. During the study, six fully ejaculatory orgasms were experienced in 36 minutes with no refractory period in evidence.
It can also be said that in some cases, the refractory period can be reduced or even eliminated through the course of puberty and on into adulthood. Later, P. Haake et al. observed a single male individual producing multiple orgasms without elevated prolactin response.[6]

When discussing the difference between orgasm and ejaculation in men, note that among those men who began masturbation or other sexual activity prior to puberty, many report having been able to achieve multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms. This capacity generally disappears with the subject's first ejaculation. Some evidence indicates that the orgasms experienced by men prior to puberty are qualitatively similar to the "normal" female experience of orgasm, suggesting that hormonal changes during puberty have a strong influence on the character of male orgasm.

Human female orgasm

In a human female orgasm, orgasm is preceded by moistening of the vaginal walls, and an enlargement of the clitoris due to increased blood flow trapped in the clitoris's spongy tissue. Some women exhibit a sex flush, a reddening of the skin over much of the body due to increased blood flow to the skin. As a woman comes closer to having an orgasm, the clitoris moves inward under the clitoral hood, and the labia minora (inner lips) become darker. As orgasm becomes imminent, the vagina decreases in size by about 30% and also becomes congested from engorged soft tissue. The uterus then experiences muscular contractions. A woman experiences full orgasm when her uterus, vagina and pelvic muscles undergo a series of rhythmic contractions. The majority of women consider these contractions to be very pleasurable, although not all sexually active women experience this.

After the orgasm is over, the clitoris re-emerges from under the clitoral hood, and returns to its normal size in less than 10 minutes.

In a disputed study, female orgasm has been linked to education and income, with heterosexual women with post-secondary degrees more likely to reach orgasm than their less-educated counterparts.

The study methodology has been quite disputed. It is based on a computer assisted phone survey of 19,307 Australians. In fact, the abstract of the research states: "Demographic and sexual history variables were comparatively weakly associated with orgasm." Linking demographics to orgasms was not the aim of the research. The actual study barely references the linkage between demographics and orgasm.

Female multiple orgasm

Unlike men, women either do not have a refractory period or have a very short one and thus can experience a second orgasm soon after the first; some women can even follow this with additional consecutive orgasms. This is known as having multiple orgasms. After the initial orgasm, subsequent climaxes may be stronger or more pleasurable as the stimulation accumulates. Research shows that about 13% of women experience multiple orgasms[citation needed]; a larger number may be able to experience this with the proper stimulation (such as a vibrator) and frame of mind. However, some women's clitorises and nipples are very sensitive after orgasm, making additional stimulation initially painful. It is possible to engage in deep, rapid breaths while continuing stimulation and making a conscious intention to release the pain and tension during and after sex. Doing this can allow for the intense stimulation to be interpreted not as painful but as intensely pleasurable.