Thursday, November 30, 2006

Six

Oh hell, I've been tagged with that "six weird things" meme. Oh, all right already. I'll do it.

1: I swallowed a nickel when I was about 4. It lodged in my esophagus and the doctors had to put me under and knock it down into my wittle tummy. My mom was instructed to go through my waste materials until she found the coin. Mom says she looked and looked, but never found it.

2: Sometimes I take a square of individually wrapped Velveeta cheese and fold it into fourths; then I tear it at the folds and distribute the resulting smaller squares onto Triscuit crackers and eat them, often with carefully timed bites of a Vlassic Polish dill pickle spear (in a perfect world, the eating of the spear is equally distributed between the four Velveeta crackers, the dill spear is also cold and not shriveled at the top from only being half-submersed in pickle brine, the level of which has receded due to consumption of brethren spears).

2.5: I like saying and typing the word "Velveeta."

2.75: Eating, saying and typing "Velveeta" does not make me less of a woman.

3: Listening to Tom Jones (What's New Pussycat, It's not Unusual) puts me in a good mood.

3.145: Eating, saying and typing "Tom Jones" might make me less of a woman. Listening to him does not.

3.68: I have never thrown a pair of my panties at Tom Jones. I have never thrown a pair of panties at anyone. Well, except my Dearly Beloved during a playful moment, like when he needs something to mop up the spilt beer.

4: Once for Christmas, I bought a zillion little carved wooden skulls and put curly bows on them and gave them to all my friends to use as ornaments on their trees.

5: When I was a kid, I wanted to change my name to Moose or Daisy or Jupiter.

5.06: Actually, Jupiter O'Brien would not be a bad name.

6: While walking yesterday, I said to my Splendid King, "The clitoris is a lot more complex than people realize."

6.749: Owning a pair of Ben Wa balls is an awesome responsibility.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ok.. I hate tagging people and with that said, this has made me feel good for doing so.
Thank you for sharing Erin and pickle brine is delicious

XOXO

Doug said...

Combining 6 with 6.749, I have a question:

do you clunk when you walk?

sleepydog said...

Tom Jones rocks. It does not make me less of a man to say, write or listen to Tom Jones. His song "Help Yourself" is on the heavy rotation playlist in my MP3 player.

I would hang skulls from my Christmas tree. Yes indeedy, I would.

When I start my own religious cult, Erin O'Brien will be the goddess of the "F" word and pickle brine.

Norm said...

mmmmmmmmmmm, velveeta and pickles

Bugwit Homilies said...

Interesting. You have a complex clitoris and I have a clitoris complex.

~d said...

Hee hee!
this is a fun meme thing!

I like it.
And I like your answers.
And I wanna come up with six things, too!

(smile)

FLAMINGO1 said...

Yeah, I know.

Now lets get those beers and hit it.

Dean said...

I find myself worrying that those ben-wa balls will bang up against that nickel that's undoubtedly plastered to the wall of your colon and cause strange ringing noises at inopportune moments.

You're definitely not a 'Moose'. 'Daisy', yeah, that works. So does 'Jupiter', but it would probably get shortened to 'Joop' and that doesn't work for me because it sounds Dutch and you're not terribly Dutch with your whiskey drinkin', story-writin', Goat-lovin', appliance-whorin' ways.

I'm not telling you what to change your name to, I'm just saying. I'm saying that if you changed your name to Jupiter I would have to email the shit out of you until you changed it to Daisy.

Libby Spencer said...

Thank you for that confession. I won't be afraid to admit I like Velveeta anymore.

Anonymous said...

3.145 Whoa Whoa Whoa (said TJ style)

3.68 spilt beer = alcohol abuse :-(