Monday, September 18, 2006

Whole earth on warts

The Last Whole Earth Catalog
updated August, 1972

As stated on page 1, here is the purpose of this publication: "We are as gods and might as well get good at it. So far remotely done power and glory--as via government, big business, formal education, church--has succeeded to the point where gross defects obscure actual gains. In response to this dilemma and to these gains a realm of intimate, personal power is developing--power of the individual to conduct his own education, find his own inspiration, shape his own environment, and share his adventure with whoever is interested. Tools that aid this process are sought and promoted by the WHOLE EARTH CATALOG

This excerpt, with formatting intact, is from "Country Cures and Medical Stuff," page 217:

Dig Warts

I cured my WARTS with a Swiss ARMY KNIFE. A true testimonial by Malaclypse the Younger of San Francisco--Plagued with Planter's Warts for over a year, and advised by the medical profession that regular medication is GENERALLY HOPELESS, I cured my WARTS with a Swiss ARMY KNIFE and voodoo. Twice a week for twelve months I cursed the warts and made them feel unwelcome. During that time, I took my stainless steel Swiss ARMY KNIFE and dug at them relentlessly. They have now more or less DISAPPEARED leaving only gaping holes and volcano-like craters on my calouses. I recommend this cure for any person with a cool hand, a knowledge of voodoo and a Swiss ARMY KNIFE. A Swiss ARMY KNIFE may be purchased at your nearest Swiss ARMY KNIFE dealer.


sleepydog said...

A Swiss Army Knife and Voodoo, the gold standard in problem solving.

Nope, I've never encountered the problem that couldn't be solved with a Swiss Army Knife and a little bit of voodoo*.

*This message has been brought to you by the Swiss Army Knife N' Voodoo Council Of America

Thanks for the hugs O'Brien. You make every day a garden of earthly delights. MWAH !

Jozee said...

Ouch, The Whole Earth Catalog.
Hours of browsing fun.
Kind of like a new age Farmer's Almanac.
Classic '70's tome.

Do you have Abbie Hoffman's "Steal This Book"?

Anonymous said...

works for hemoroids too!

Tim Gageroid

~d said...

River Phoenix and I dug out warts on Flea's back one night in October 1993. No, I never met him. I mean, no, I don't own a swiss army knife.

Bugwit Homilies said...

I cured my own cataracts the same way!

gretchenhr said...

My Dad is all about using knives, pins, needles, tweezers or anything else metal and pointy to cure ailments of the body. You might say I was abused from time to time from him trying to "fix" me!

josh williams said...

I have a swiss army knife an intimate knowledge of Voodoo...I have learned never let your friends know you can remove warts, you would be surprised many have genital warts. JWW

n said...

I just found a swiss army knife all rusted and dirt covered two days ago. My old dad crazy glued a tooth togeher that broke off in his that is in the book somewhere.

garrett said...

Does that book say "access to tools" there on the cover? What does that mean in this context?

Sounds like it ought to say "[something] for tools."

Bostick said...

stop kissing frogs

Bunyan, Paul Bunyan said...

To me warts have always been like god saying I have the power to put little gross bumps on your skin...for starters!

Elisson said...

Christawmighty. I'm sure I have an old copy of TWEC lurking in the basement somewhere.

Need to dig it out. That shit's effin' comedy gold.

Erin O'Brien said...

Sleepy: I think you might need to add a hammer to that gold standard. Although voodoo alone has gotten me far.

Jozee: Don't have Hoffman's book. Someone stole it.

Gager: Particularly if you have a special friend to do the deed.

~d: Oh, baby girl! Next time call me and we'll find something more interesting to dig out.

Bug: You should get together with Gager.

Gretch: Good lord. That's worse than my mom, who slathered every wound with Vaseline.

JW: Just when I least expect it, you give me something for which I am thankful.

n: That kills me. My dad was always doing stuff like that. He once slammed his thumb, which swelled to all hell. He drilled through the nail with a drill press to relieve the pressure. eek!

Garrett: It does say "access to tools" How should I know what it means? Look at the 'purpose' quote on the blog. These people were on drugs!

Bostick: Beg me.

Bunyan: Oh, ye who has a phonetic commonality with the bunion ought to tread very, very, carefully.

Elisson: Thank god someone else has one of these things. I was start to feel effing OLD.

Denny Shane said...

funny... I have been looking for a good home remedy.

Dean said...

Thank god for the soup can.

Thank god this guy didn't have a case of herpes. Or gonorrhea. I can just see him working away with the little corkscrew.

Denny Shane said...

I must be getting old... I didn't even notice that thing until dean brought it up,. Thanks a lot dean.

Toby said...

The knife had nothing to do with the removal of the warts. It's just a plug.

jamwall said...

does it have to be a swiss army knife. doesn't a ginsu suffice?

or maybe a plastic spork?

garrett said...

Regarding old-ness ... I was born in 1972 (the year your catalog was updated). I hope that helps!

~d said...

Erin, ring, ring, GURL...lets go digging, Mama!

this is new and a bit off, check it out. Rumor has it Winters will pass by eventually!

Bostick said...

need that little yellow man from the toe fungus add to scrape it off

Norm said...

hey wait a minute --
I once owned that catalog, and I don't remember that passage about warts.

Er. Of course, I don't remember much else from back then either, sooooooooo

Erin O'Brien said...

Denny: We deliver here at the manual.

Dean: Don't give him any ideas. Could get ugly.

Denny: It's Dean's fault! Dean made me do it!

Toby: I know. I went out right away and bought a voodoo kit.

Jam: I love sporks! Better than chopsticks!

Garrett: I was born in 65. Um ... what?

~d: back at you dudette!

Bostick: I hate that little toenail fungus fucker! Bet he eats warts.

Norm: Believe me, the authors forgot everything they wrote as soon as it was committed to paper. Stoned, dude, stoned.

Richard said...

Damn, my parents had the Whole Earth Catalog when I was a kid. That and the Foxfire books. I have been looking for that hippy shit for awhile. Very cool.

~d said...

OOOH! that dirty rat Bostick sent me here. He said stuff was going on. WHAT is GOING on?!