Friday, May 19, 2006

Beer guys

"What sort of guy is he?" I say.
"You know the type of guy," you say. "He's a beer guy."
"Oh," I say, with an inclusive nod. " A beer guy."

Beer guys.

Beer guys drink beer.

Beer guys have mustaches.

Beer guys know mud.

Beer guys split logs.

Beer guys like other beer guys.

Beer guys ride dirt bikes.

Beer guys drive pick-ups.

Beer guys drive jeeps.

Beer guys have beards.

Beer guys bullshit.

Beer guys laugh.

Beer guys have toolboxes.

Beer guys have arc welders.

Beer guys have drill presses.

Beer guys know Toro and Gravely and John Deere.

Beer guys dig chicks.

Beer guys drink Bud.

Beer guys drink Strohs.

Beer guys drink draft.

Beer guys drink any beer you hand them.

Beer guys swear.

Beer guys.

Photo info:

The guy in the glasses is not a 70's porn star, it is my Dearly Beloved about a year before he said, "I do." He is seated next to my dad Bill O'Brien in Dad's 1949 Willy's Jeep. Long time associates Sara Cunin and John Viglianco round out the foursome. Unidentified knee at right supports Michelob cup. Click to enlarge.


Paul said...

The only real beer guys in the picture are Sara and your dad. The guy on the right would have a Harvey Wallbanger, and Dearly Beloved would ask for Mateus.

Toby said...

My step dad has a 40 something willy. It's blue. He's not a beer guy. He's never even tasted any alcohol in his entire life. He's 66.

The Goat said...

As a 70's porn star (don't tell my wife), I would prostitute myself even to the point of drinking Mateus if it meant getting the girl. Must have worked since I ended up with Erin

Roxi said...

can I be a beer man?

Doug Hoffman said...

I'm a grappa guy, which means that the first thing I checked out when I came over here was the picture of you naked.

My first thought: Damn. Why didn't I ever think of that?

Erin O'Brien said...

Paul: "hey, hey, hey, Mateus Rose!"

Toby: He is an honorary beer guy because of the Willy's!

Goat: I THOUGHT that guy in "Thundering Dong" looked familiar!

Roxi: you are SO a beer guy!

Hoffman: Holy eff! DO NOT remove your clothing!

nadina said...

I saw a mama bear and 4 cubs yesterday oh know I handed in a paper in college with a typo threw the whole thing . I had even paid an editor and he had all my beer turned into bear. No kidding. Anyhoo, I love people that drink bear.

josh williams said...

I swear to beer I love this post! JW Beer Guy I used to brew beer, but its much easier to just buy at the store. JW Reformed bootlegger, ferret legger for that matter. Kind Regards JW

Hal said...

These are the last of the true beer guys, because you left out one important detail - beer guys chortle at microbrews and the people who drink them. A beer guy's beer - especially a Cleveland beer guy is Stroh's, Miller Low Life, Old Swill, Milwaukee's Worst, P.O.C. (Piss on Cincinatti), Puke, Falstaff, Generic Beer (which was brewed by Falstaff), Reinlander, Christian Morlein.

At this point, I must confess that I am a fake beer guy, because I really, really like microbrews, especially those from the Great Lakes, and Crooked River Breweries. In fact, Tribe fans know that (at least at one time), you could get a big ole cup of Crooked River Ballpark Brew at the Jake for about $5 and nurse that mofo for about five innings, and you'd get the buzz of four Schmidt's, or whatever lukewarm goat's urine they used to serve at the old Stadium with the little piece of cellophone over the cup to keep it from spilling as the vendor handed it to you. Perhaps this fact made converts out of the true beer guys, but I suspect not. So laugh at me all you want, true beer guys, but I'm getting the same buzz without making as many pisscalls.

Toby said...

I'm a lover of microbrews too. Montana is awesome. Every little town has at least one. They sell "growlers" for about $3. That's a half gallon of beer for $3! And most of them are just blank glass jugs so they're interchangable at most of the breweries. And most of the breweries will let you sample at their bar. Some samples are shot sized, but others a full pints. I love Montana!!!

Paul said...

I yield to the irrefutable logic of the Goat. He did get the girl. That's what matters.

Erin O'Brien said...

Nadina: I love people who screw on beer rugs.

Josh: I swear to beer I love you!

Hal: I see you have received my transmission despite your status as a fake beer guy. Excellent.

Toby: This is wonderful information for my readers. Here at the Owner's Manual, we seek to please, educate and entertain. Thank you, Mr. Speeks. Thank you very much.

Paul: On the flip side, I did marry a goat, and that has certain implications.

josh williams said...

Your I wise woman. I swear to beer the same.

PDD said...

I know of John Deere. It's all hunting stuff.

Your dearly beloved is a handsome man and there is something about your fathers legs that closely resembles my fathers legs. Was your father into hunting?

Beer, you should try Alexander Keiths if you haven't already. It's spectacular.

Toby said...

When beer is the topic, I'm not the smartest with all the terms, but my taste buds will never fib. Even the (most) beer guys will agree, a great beer is a beer that tastes better at room temp. Anything else is drinkable, and crap.

Vince said...

Those are wannabe beer guys. Real beer guys have tattoos and liver damage.

Le Chitelier said...

Beer guys.

'Nuff said.

Erin O'Brien said...

Josh: Swearing to beer is just plain satisfying. Not as satisfying as drinking it, but satisfying just the same.

PDD: Dearly Beloved has since shaved the 'stash. Can't get him to grow it back! Dad hunted some, not too much.

Toby: I am completely pedestrian when it comes to beer. Oh well, I make up for it in mammeries.

Vince: I beg to differ, these attributes are actually associated with Harley Guys or a subdivision of Beer Guys knows as Bud Guys. More on this to follow.

Chit: 'Nuff indeed.

Toby said...

I can undo a bra one handed.