Friday, September 25, 2009

Good and bad news for all men


Male: "Does size matter?"

Female: "Yes. However, greater specificity depends on whether you are seeking coitus or fellatio."

* * *

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh, but tis better to receive then give in this case....no matter what you're seeking....and yes size does matter for both.

FLAMINGO1 said...

That's why I bought a big truck...

Stephanie Powers said...

I once knew a man with a penis no bigger than my index finger and believe me when I say his deficency mattered in both sexual tacts. It was the relationship that ended before it ever began.

Bill Fitzgerald said...

More important questions:

Does it work?

Is there someone just as happy as you that it does?

garrett said...

I like Robin Williams' line on this topic:

"You can't make butter with a toothpick."

PDD said...

But you sure can make a toothpick with some wood.

And when it comes to anal sex it's a whole new set of questions. One that qualifies the FAQ: Why not?

PDD said...

Another: Okay, when then?

Stephanie Powers said...

I'm talking width, circumferance, length of only my poor little pointer finger. Come on people, doesn't that just suck! You cannot deny that, turtle neck or no, size matters a great deal. Besides, in the realm of the anal, as PDD poses, go for the gun or use one of your own digits. Little dicks suck. I'm emphatic and I can't spell.

jungle jane said...

i suspect that sex workers just adore tiny dicks....

Ron Jeremy said...

I know, from personal experience, that size matters.

It's the story of my life.

It's my meal ticket.

How else would one of the butt ugliest men on the face of the earth get so much poon...AND GET PAID FOR IT???

josh williams said...

Not one to boast but my uriologist refered me to a large animal vet...

Erin O'Brien said...

Let me take this opportunity to thank everyone for stopping by today, particularly the adult film star Mr. Ron Jeremy (despite his crass language) as well as everyone's favorite Hart, Stephanie Powers. Hearing her sad story just goes to show you, there are challenges before all of us, regardless of fame.

And yes, Mr. Fitzgerald, I would say that many prefer a small hard penis over a large soft one (?).

Flamingo: chicks dig trucks.

Jane: Thank god I don't have to do it for a living.

garrett: Is that what the kids are calling it these days? making butter?

anonymous: I cannot respond unless I know your gender.

Ron Jeremy said...

Erin,

Crass is my middle name. It's why they call me "hedgehog."

Christopher55 said...

From Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein--

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.
Inga: His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Exactly.
Inga: He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That goes without saying.
Inga: Voof.
Igor: He's going to be very popular.

jungle jane said...

Surely if one's middle name is Crass then one would be called Crass?

i mean i don't see any hedgehogs running about calling themselves Ron...

The Velvet Fog said...

Garrett,
You disgust me with such crude behavior.

I'd expect a little more from a varsity letterman.

kellywalters said...

I can NOT believe no one has said this yet..

fuck..

the mantra of all small dicked guys..

" Its not the size of the boat that matters but the motion in the Ocean!"

and my come back to that..

yeah but you cant fucking row and oar for your own ass bitch.

I apologize for my language

Ken Houghton said...

"Female: "Yes. However, greater specificity depends on whether you are seeking coitus or fellatio.""

Once again cunnilingus gets short shrift. Or, as Gene Simmons once told Playboy: "My tongue is big enough to steal your girl friend."

hoosierboy said...

I can touch my nose with my tongue...

Big Mark 243 said...

You gotta love the commentary!!

I haven't had to deal with the issue of size. No one has complained and I don't brag (though I guess, this counts) on myself.

One of the things that I think makes a difference, is how much attention you pay to a woman. I wouldn't know how it works on a 'pro', but with those I have had a relationship with, that I would go down on them without asking, made me seem 'bigger' I am sure.

Making the female the focus first has usually been the difference maker and I don't know if they were as caught up with size when it came to intercourse.

And it is sincere, the desire to please her as much if not more than it is for me to get mine. Men have orgasms in their sleep, it takes 'want to' in order to help a woman achieve an orgasm'. That is my standard line, which is why I put most of my effort into my partner. Eventually, I will nut. Her, not so much.

Diddlin' around isn't the same as having another person to experience the feeling with. And even if you don't get her there, I am sure that she will appreciate the effort on your 'honey glazed' face.

LimesNow said...

I interviewed for a position with that fine firm once, but I failed to make the cut.

Erin O'Brien said...

I love that sign. I want to walk into the building and ask, "I'll have one superior erection, please."

I wonder if there is a Regular Erection Company somewhere: You can count on us! We're Regular Erection

LimesNow said...

Would you like fries with that?

If one's finances were suffering, would one go to the Substandard Erection Company just to save a few bucks?

In quiet moments on my zoom-zoom Friday at work, I'm noodling around on a jingle for Superior Erection.

Erin O'Brien said...

Settle only for perfection.

Make it Superior Erection!

LimesNow said...

Ha! You've set me off - that's all I needed to get my mind in the right place.

Kirk Jusko said...

Was that photo taken on Brookpark Road?

Erin O'Brien said...

That's on Brecksville Road in bucolic Richfield of all places.

philbilly said...

Swear to Buddha, I saw a truck from
"Johnson Erection Company" on I-90 today.

I love my truck alomost as much as I love my schwanzstucker.

@Stephanie Powers;
I don't mean to be presumptuous, but I sense a longing in your post and I am intrigued by your passion and the screen name. Drinks?

Hal said...

This thread is getting pretty hard to follow.

Erin O'Brien said...

blerf.

philbilly said...

What did you expect?

Young Frankenstein, the Musical

http://playhousesquare.org/broadway/frankenstein.html

Oct 13, 2009 - Oct 25, 2009
PALACE THEATRE

Amy L. Hanna said...

@ Anonymous -
Neither is better than the other. And, your opinion on the "both" ...

Size ain't everything, and I'll take skills over semantics any day.
Even my last ex can back me on that.