Monday, February 06, 2006

Electrasol 3 in 1 tabs

I am moving through the grocery store in a suburban stupor. Velveeta extra thick slices. Brooks chile hot beans. Irish Spring.

"No, honey," I say absently to my kid, "no nutty bars."

Chicken on sale. Hard salami. One gallon bottle of bleach.

"Pardon me, ma'am," comes the voice from my right. I turn to see an unremarkable woman in a blue smock standing behind a table, upon which is a stack of coupons and some boxes of Electrasol.

"Yes?" I say. I am slightly irritated because I'm in a rush, but her coupons are for one dollar off and I have no reason to be rude to her.

"We're featuring these Electrasol 3 in 1 tabs today," she says. "They are 60 cents off the regular price and I have these coupons." She hands me two. "So that's another dollar savings."

"Thank you," I say.

"Have you ever tried the tabs?" she asks.

"I can't say as I have," I say. My kid is fascinated with the lobster tank.

"In that case," she purrs, "I'm just going to have to show you one."

"This is your pre-soak and your detergent," she says, unwrapping one of the little tablets," and your rinse aid." She offers it to me. I stare at the unearthly pellet in my hand.

The woman reaches over and caresses the pearly little ball in the center of the tablet lovingly with the tip of her forefinger. "Isn't it cute?"

I am standing in the grocery store holding a dishwasher detergent tablet while a woman in a smock rubs the associated Jet-Dry Powerball® trying to decide whether or not said object is cute.

This is not what I expected from life.

"Cute," I say.

I take another coupon. I take a box of Electrasol Green Apple 3 in 1 tabs. I take a box of Orange Blossom® Apple 3 in 1 tabs.

I float upwards until my feet are three inches above the floor and glide to the bakery department, my kid skipping gleefully behind me.

11 comments:

Ms. M said...

Geesh, you're up at 4 in the morning too? Who'da thunk it?

Thanks for visiting my blog. Ice cubs still ice cubes in your room it was so cold. That's pretty f'ing cold.

I don't use the Electrosol tabs, I use the lemon scented powder. It's pretty good. The hard tabs sometimes don't break down like they should. Not sure about the new tabs. Lemme know if you like em!

How come I don't float after picking up my Electrosol box at the store??? I'm jealous!

KB said...

I use Orange Blossom Electrosol gelpacks, and I love them.

I also love your blog. ;-)

I'll be back.

jungle jane said...

lol nice post erin.

i float after i smoked pot. maybe i should save a buck and try Electrasol instead?

PDD said...

The electrosol 3 in 1 tabs suck ass. I was doing the same thing, minding my business as I grocery shopped. They were giving free boxes away. They practically shoved it in my bag. I tried it and like I said, It sucks! I debated whether or not to return it.

Bloodgood said...

That is some pretty powerful mind control. She could be a jedi. You want the electrosol.
Yes I want the electrosol.

Your book came in the mail today. I have read your dedication and about the Author. I dont know if most people do this but I will read the first and last page before I dive into a book. So far so good!!

FLAMINGO1 said...

Don't read the last page first - CHEATER!!

You don't start with an orgasm and then jump back to foreplay, do you???

garrett said...

Actually, that is pretty much how I like to do it.

.
.
.
.
.

I mean with regards to sex.

Not reading.

Reading the last page first. That's sick.

PDD said...

Have your tried the electrosol tabs yet, Erin? Let me know what you think of them.

Yes Garrett, that is sick.

Bloodgood said...

I cant help it, its a compulsion. Much like pleasuring myself. I made it through the first few pages before my wife wanted to turn out lights for bed. Again, so far so good!

kellywalters said...

I float all the time..

I really do

nicole said...

I think I've bought a package of those. I say "I think" because I almost never USE my dishwasher so they're probably stashed under the kitchen sink gathering dust. But it's the cuteness factor that drove the purchase anyway.