Sunday, April 06, 2014

Time to pay up

Dear friends,

In the aftermath of the McCutcheon decision, while liberal pundits are blinking indignantly as if no one on the left side of the aisle ever accepted so much as a dime from those dodgy lobbyists, their conservative breathren are gleefully prancing around the political airwaves exclaiming that of course speech is money ... why how could the New York Times or ABC News or the very show they are appearing on exist without money?

(For an interesting take on the whole thing, dig Dan Carlin's latest podcast, Auctioning the Republic, in which he notes that political corruption and SCOTUS's endorsement of same isn't what's surprising, but Roberts' essential assertion that money is how we do things in a Democracy is shocking for its naked truth. And when he inferred that no one should try to change that, it was downright disturbing.)

So, if speech is money or money is speech or however it's supposed to go, I've obviously been doing something wrong here at the Owner's Manual and some money ought to be changing hands with each word I type. Since I'm not exactly sure who's got their eyes on out there, I've decided you should pay me. A dollar a word sounds about right.

This sentence alone will run you eight clams. Call that my tip.

(I wonder how many conservative business owners trotted in front of their staff and announced that, in the light of the recent SCOTUS McCutcheon decision, corruption shall only apply to accepting a case full of money in exchange for a specific action. Hence, all the purchase agents and project managers awarding contracts and everyone else are free to accept all the ingratiating gifts they'd like from suppliers and contractors and, well, just about anybody--as long as it doesn't come with a specific request.)

This post is 376 words. Let's keep things nice and round at a buck a word and five bucks for the graphic (Who the hell else takes a photo of a god name tag at the gas pump?) So that's $381 you owe me.

Sends checks, cash or money orders to:

Erin O'Brien
P. O. Box 470167
Broadview Heights, OH 44147

Honor system applies. It was nice doing business with you.

Love, Erin

$  $  $


Bill said...

Yes. I did read every word and owe you $381. Please put this charge on my Giant Eagle Fuelperks Credit Card. 422682336738447. (there is a code in that number) Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Do you suppose if I were to whap Justice Scalia in the back of the head with a sock full of silver dollars that I could use a freedom-of-speech defense?


Anonymous said...

I suspect the Owners Manual is just one of thousands of blogs written by Koch Brothers supercomputers between high frequency/high speed market transactions. Until the word verification requires my Paypal data I'm freeloading.