Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Garden of death

Dubious talismans in my community garden plot

Dear Readership,

The Goat has secured a plot in the community garden. I visited it over the weekend and found it to be a perfectly lovely affair with a high secured fence and rows of raised beds neatly lined up between generous paths for easy access.

When I located our plot, however, I was dismayed to find not one, but two small gravestone markers bidding, "RIP."

Obviously, this does not bode well. That said, the plot next to ours had a couple of similar grave markers and a skull nestled amid the soil, so I figure I'm doing hella better than that guy (which I'm pretty sure is the Mayor).

April 14 in the Year of our Lord 2014, in Cleveland, Ohio

Despite all of this and today's coating of snow, I shall soldier on and unravel the mysteries of a host of terrifying gardening mandates such as bone meal, nitrogen and beneficial insects. Who knew gardening was actually one of the dark arts?

Stay tuned. I shall have an honest-to-god tomato this year no matter what other horrors befall me.

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Anonymous said...

Woke up to snow on the Highland Rim this morning. Temp dropping to 26 with likely frost tonight. Our weather broke about 3 weeks ago and gardeners have been busy. Fear they may lose alot tonight.


DogsDontPurr said...

Snow?!?! WTF? You need to get yourself out to SoCal pronto! We've actually had the air conditioning on already.

(But don't think for a minute that I'm taking this for granted. I'm headed to Oregon in a few days, and I've heard it's still pretty drafty, cold and wet up there. Argh! My building doesn't have air conditioning or heat, so I'm soaking up all this CA sunshine while I can get it!)

ganymeder said...

I kill pretty much every plant I love anyway, so I already assumed gardening was a dark art. That said, when I saw the snow today I reconsidered planting the basil.

Good luck, fair warrior.

Anonymous said...

"Snow?!?! WTF? You need to get yourself out to SoCal pronto!"-DDP

I should have been in SoCal 30 years ago DDP for reasons having nothing to do with weather.

BTW....Should have mentioned that many of the gardeners I speak to around here still reference "The Signs" printed in Almanacs as guides to planting, etc. As I understand it there is a long tradition of mystical practices, dark or not, associated with agriculture.


Anonymous said...

Earthquakes, wild fires, and landslides seem to lead to far more fatalities than a dusting of April snow. Except for folks who, having gone to bed with clear skies and temperatures in the fifties, wake up to falling snow and temperatures in the 20s, whereupon their heads spontaneously detonate.