Saturday, December 28, 2013

Tree topper?



The Goat is worried about whether or not the new tree topper (marked down from $26 to $6 the day after Christmas) is straight.

WHO THE HELL CARES?

I'm pretty sure it's transmitting data (in and out). The NSA? Dept. of Homeland Security? Aliens? Dunno.

Maybe they're scouting me as a potential agent.

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16 comments:

Kalei's Best Friend said...

I agree, I think its cool! do u think its got skype capability?

Erin O'Brien said...

Could be. Pretty sure there's a ham radio in there.

John Jesberger said...

I'd get my foil hat on if I were you.

Erin O'Brien said...

Who needs a foil hat when I've got Silver City Pink lipstick? This stuff will deflect anything.

Anonymous said...

That sure looks like a minaret to me. Islam's war on Christmas marches on. Why do you hate the Elves? All they want is a chance to live the American Dream. In the Arctic. In forced labor camps.

MR

Anonymous said...

Silly people. Obviously a Phil Robertson Gaydar Receiver. (Produced by happy negroes in Northern Louisiana)

RJ

philbilly said...

@MR@RJ +1
I have a 1925, repeat 1925, book called "The Geography of North America" in which appears a photo of black Louisiana sharecroppers harvesting cotton into 20-foot long put-sacks. The caption reads " Lawdy, dis' cotton sho'am heavy."
Swear to God.

Dammit, MR, now the Clash's "Rock the Casbah(Bombs among the Minarets)" is stuck in my head.

Anonymous said...

No need to swear philbilly I have no doubt. I have had conversations with those sharecroppers children. The whole family worked in the fields. (Built Character if you lived.) A woman once told me she'd look at the sun to tell time. They got to break for lunch. She said her mother would catch her and say "That sun ain't gonna help you pick this cotton." They'd go home at dark and boil their clothes over a fire to clean them with soap they made from lye and ash. Eat, crash, get up at dawn and do it again. Zippity Do Dah.

RJ

DogsDontPurr said...

Just make sure that thing is grounded before attempting to use it as a "marital aid." And if you're anywhere near power lines, stay in the car!

philbilly said...

Yes, RJ, and weren't they godly and happy, to be sure. As for "Nobody sang the blues", I've been getting back into early blues music after a long hiatus. Kicks ass. Blind Blake is the shit.

Re: Phil Robertson, google "strange fruit".

Phony camo-redneck douche. Makes us real hilljacks look bad.

"History is not my story"
Sun Ra

DogsDontPurr said...

Wow...Erin...I think the ornament may be crooked after all. It's getting poor reception and bringing in some sort of weird talk channel. Maybe turn it a little to the left. If that doesn't work, maybe unplug it then plug it back in again.

philbilly said...

Wait 10 seconds after unplugging, it's the law.

Erin O'Brien said...

From haunting "strange fruit" to marital aids.

By now, you people realize of course, why I thing this goddamn thing is an antenna?

Anonymous said...

Wow. Plenty of variety here.

-Erin, it's not just an antenna. Everything comes with that unit. Broadcasts, receives, transmits biometric data, and during sleep it reminds one how lucky they are to be Betas, because Alphas have to work so hard...

-philbilly, have your attorneys contacted the folks at 'Duck Din Nasty' to discuss the pain and suffering and damage to reputation and good-will they've created for anyone named 'phil'?

-AND-Wouldn't it be truly poetic justice if Erin's tree-top 'Object' [see: cover art from Zeppelin's 'Presence' LP] could channel Billy Holliday's recording of 'Strange Fruit' into Mr Robertson's psyche for a hot minute?

-AND-Re the Clash-The lyrics to 'Clampdown' seem especially apropos lately.


-AND-DogsDontPurr...around my place calling that a 'marital aid' would probably lead to 'martial' law.

MR

Anonymous said...

@RJ-

I suspect Mr Robertson wouldn't care to be associated with a receiver. Pretty sure he'd prefer 'transmitter', if you know what I mean and I'll betcha do.

MR

Anonymous said...

@MR

Penicillin.

RJ