Monday, March 26, 2012

Bad to the bone

Back in the day, getting pizza was an event. It was reserved for Friday night slumber parties or as part of a festive outing on the other side of town. Pizza was something you anticipated; and if it went bad, you made the best of it.

I had a friend who used to say: even when you get bad pizza, it's still pizza!

Now you pretty much get pizza all the time and the phrase doesn't pack the same punch. For most, it's a downgrade to: When you get bad pizza, it's just bad.

The same friend once extrapolated the concept to sex: even when you have bad sex, it's still sex! The obvious question is: has sex gone the way of pizza, with ennui souring whatever positive morsels are to be had within a bad experience?  Perhaps it's a gender thing. When a man has bad sex, hey, it's still sex! When a woman has bad sex, it's just bad.

Good christ. This introduction has gone on long enough.

Behold three images. Now then dear readers, you tell me. Do these fall in the "But It's Still Sex!"category or should they be relegated to the "It's Just Bad" department?

1. Behold their delicate flowers--emphasis on the hold.

2. What the illustrator in the 1968 Montgomery Ward ad department was really thinking or, "Burgers are on!"

3. There are situations when what you learned in Art Deconstruction 301 do not apply.

On a thinly related note, I once had a cupcake that sucked even though it was a cupcake. How tragic is that?

This post is done.

* * *


B.E. Earl said...

1) "But It's Still Sex!"

2) link isn't working for me, so I'll go with "It's Just Bad".

3) I was fine until I noticed the mannequin hand at the bottom of the shot. "It's Just Bad".

We should play this game every day. ;)

Erin O'Brien said...

#2 should work now, BE.

Anonymous said...

We told the pizza line differently:
Q: Why is sex like pizza
A: Even when its bad, it's KINDA good...


Mrs. C said...

You closing line sounds like Ina Gartner has invaded your body. And that would be bad.

twinkly sparkles said...

I don't know about the sex being good or bad in that bbq drawing, but the artwork is awful. Likewise with the woman whose back is facing us on the Jim Linderman: Smut Collector cover. She looks like Iggy Pop with a big girl butt. The other woman just scares me, her boob is sort of coming out of her shoulder. Shudder!

Furthermore, sex squatting over a ground-level bbq with live coals is not safe sex and I think we should all practice safe sex.

How bad was my comment?

Anonymous said...

The book illustrated is a satire piece of art created for the vintage sleaze blog, which documents writers, photographers and models from the 1950s and 1960s. It is a composite book cover created by an artist for the blog.

Anonymous said...

I have no answers for you. I do like saying "Smut" though. And smutty things. Like this-"The secret to good sex between men and women is the practice of chivalry. In sexual matters the male should always adhere to the standard of 'Lady's first.' Dial 1800willsayanythingtogetlaid for more gems of wisdom.


Erin O'Brien said...

Thanks anon. I got the image from a source that didn't credit it. Sorry about that.

The curious can see the image I removed here.

Sean Craven said...

1. Well, those gals are cute, but jiminy. It is impossible not to cringe.

2. Bad draftsmanship turns suggestive situations into body-shock horror.

3. And again, if the only thing of interest in your photo is an attractive body, why not let it attract?

For the record, actually conveying someone's attractiveness is a tremendous artistic challenge, but these folks don't seem to be working toward that end.

Craig Hughes said...

Before I begin a question, is smutty androgenous for slutty? Anyway, there is bad sex and bad pizza, all you have to ask yourself the question would you go back for more? It'll do while your at it but afterwards you take a pass. If you haven't gotten there yet either congratulations are in order or you need to get out more. Pick 'em.