Sunday, March 11, 2012

Body Flex



Where do you start?

The hair? The music? Look at her earrings, people. And I think we can all agree that this woman's crotch area would be the envy of just about anyone, although the mere assignment of the word "crotch" immediately dulls the allure.

Since we're in the area, this woman is putting A LOT of trust in the elastic of that leotard. And talk about your hair removal. Gentlemen, this is what the commercials are talking about when the commercials are talking about "the bikini area."

Bravo!

Greer Childers' groundbreaking Body Flex system burst onto the scene sometime back in the mid-90s for the incredibly low price of $24.95 (plus shipping and handling). The "deep aerobic" breathing and stretching exercises, along with sensible diet modifications, promised to melt away the inches. Greer even included a "Body Flex Optimum Results Chart" for tracking your progress, and her personal (and I daresay moving) motivational cassette tape.

My intrepid research skills revealed that the ageless Ms. Childers is still in the fitness game. She's updated her look over the years, thankfully leaving the unfortunate french cut leotard phase for more casual yoga-pant and jean ensembles.

None of which lessens the following terrible admission:


Okay, okay already. Don't kill me! That was some 15 or 16 years ago and at least I didn't do those weird face exercises.

Well ... maybe I did them once or twice.

*  *  *

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeesh...

The image on screen before I hit 'play' gave me the impression that someone had photoshopped Farrah Fawcett's head onto a dog's body...

I thank God my time was divided between hippie chicks and punk-rock chicks during this era. I didn't have to deal with too much big hair.

As to the previous thread re: ED drugs, there ain't enough in the world...

MR
PS-FIRST!

John Venlet said...

Erin, does your confession end with simply owning the "Body Flex" instructional video, and maybe making a weird face, or two, or, does your confession continue and include fessing up to the owning the preferred exercise uniform modeled so deftly by Ms. Childers?

Erin O'Brien said...

John, If I poured my plump 46-year-old body into a leotard like that, the authorities would come and arrest me.

Back in the day, I suppose I had a leotard or two, but the cut was a bit more (ahem) modest.

But to satisfy the curious, here's a pic of me wearing four bags of potato chips and some tube sox.

John Venlet said...

Well, I'm glad we've got that cleared up early in the day.

The tube sox were a nice touch.

Dan Bushman said...

Ok, I'm just going to say it. Guys watch exercise videos for a bit of PG -13 (or more like PG-9) sexual titilation.

I have to say this one has a real twist I hadn't really considered.

So there is PG-51.

Erin O'Brien said...

I admit that it's awfully early for Beer Chips, tube sox and erin.

Bill said...

Too early? Never too early for a shot and a beer.

Anonymous said...

After checking to make sure I had taken my meds I wondered "Whatever happened to Susan Powter?"

RJ

Erin O'Brien said...

I am so glad you asked, RJ. I mean, I am really really glad.

rraine said...

the facial exercises are actually a somewhat bizarre variation on a yoga pose called "simhasana", the lion.
here's the way it's supposed to be done:
http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/1705

the leotard, well, the 80s have a lot to answer for!

HeyJoe said...

Good Lord, I find that so disturbing and scary.

Anonymous said...

I know one shouldn't generalize from single case studies but given the examples posted here one might speculate that chain smoking and large volumes of beverage alcohol were equally as good for ones physical and spiritual constitution as vigorous exercise.

RJ

P.S. Speaking of which, how's Goat?

Anonymous said...

Some dip to go with those chips?

MR

Erin O'Brien said...

My poor Goat is doing as well as can be expected. Him hurt him hoof real bad!

As for the chips, I'm just glad you people appreciate my diverse and complex talents.

Anonymous said...

I have been haunted since first viewing this clip...perhaps you should take it down...somehow, someway, I developed a mental image of her going through the same motions, but the dialogue involves her doing a kegel routine...uuuuhhh

MR

Anonymous said...

Aww, jeez, now I'm REALLY mindfucked...I clicked on the Powter link...anyone have any idea how much Paxil constitutes enough to erase one's short term memory? Hell, fuck the Paxil, at this point I'll consider Drano...

MR

DogsDontPurr said...

Phew!! I am so. out. of. breath. now!!

The Twisted Tine said...

Ha, I love stuff like that. I found this lil' gem at the Thrift Store, and immediately listed it on ebay without much success.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=180711154288&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT

Erin O'Brien said...

Daniel, I love your photos of the "Exer-toner." The thing looks sexual to me, with bondage overtones. Brilliant, really.

Anonymous said...

Y'know, I meant to mention this when you first posted this, but when I sign on from Yahoo there are adds for a exercise guru(gurette?) named-drum roll, please-ERIN O'BRIEN...

Anonymous said...

"ads"...not "adds"...