Your wife, being your wife, is your wife.
Your wife will determine what is right. Your wife will determine what is wrong. All disputes concerning your wife's decisions will be settled by your wife.
Do not expect your wife to behave rationally.
Your wife knows things about your socks that are damaging, but not as damaging as the things she knows about your underwear.
In the kitchen, your wife's authority is absolute.
Your wife owns all the stuff over there. Your wife own's all the stuff over here. Your wife owns all the stuff in between. You can have the lawnmower.
Failure to adhere to these posted ordinances regarding your wife will severely limit your access to this.
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