Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Los Angeles vol. three: the hole ablution

Brilliant in design, the house soap for the Hotel Shangri-La is an ovoid ring, which maximizes surface area while minimizing product volume.

For it is, is it not, the surface area of the soap that produces suds?

Obviously it is, with the rounded edges of the bar producing the highest lather volume as they interact with the palm, and the flat center of the soap producing the least.

Hence, the Hotel Shangri-La provides guests with a product that delivers 100 percent full-size bar satisfaction (even 150 percent satisfaction if one were expecting a puny hotel bar) with only 50 percent of the end product. And that estimation doesn’t even take into account the unusual contour shaping of the bar and hole. Not only does it provide untold lather production, it is pleasing in the hand—almost erotically so.

Doth someone profess said soap to be chintzy?

In the hotel application, nothing could be further from the truth. For even the most vigorous bather would not use an entire full-sized bar during a short stay and at the very least would lather it down to a sliver that might be the size of a regular hotel soap, which is (almost whimsically) approximately the size of the hole in the Shangri-La bar.

Behold the epitome of waste minimization with virtually no performance expense—pure poetry.

The authoress apologizes for not listing manufacture and ingredient information for the soap. Alas, being so beside herself with excitement at just being at the Hotel Shangri-La, the authoress did not retain the soap packaging. She did, however, find this link and believes the graphic shows the same product distributed in the Hotel Shangri-La.

The readership will note that the authoress’s life is like this all of the time.

For those interested in seeing what the Hotel Shangri-La really looks like, the authoress can attest that these photos don't lie.

* * *


dean said...

Holy shit. I'd feel nasty having sex in that bed, like I was sullying the place or something.

Erin O'Brien said...

Um, Dean?

Oh ... nevermind.

Anonymous said...

Erin-speaking of sudsy, do you have anymore pics of the cleft in the tatooed lady's delightful left-buttock cleft? I'm kind of hurt nobody else had anything to say about it.
Thanks for sharing, especially the photo of yourself in the turban.

Erin O'Brien said...

Actually, Mike, I do have another picture of her. I didn't use it because I though it was unfair to her thighs, but you might disagree.

Bill said...

At $300+ a night, you deserve a bar of erotic soap. I'm guessing the missing middle part is pressed into those little squares one gets at Motel 6.

Erin O'Brien said...

I don't know what the hell we paid for the room. We booked through Expedia for the flight, room and car. Then we just got one giant bill.

Me no ask no questions.

This location, with the Santa Monica pier in front of us--not to mention the Ocean, and the vibrant Promenade behind us, couldn't be beat. No, you don't take a vacation like this often, but damn if it wasn't worth every nickel.

Bill said...

I like your attitude Erin. You seem to enjoy almost everything you do. Salud!

Ms Amanda said...

Having just spent the better part of two weeks staying in hotels (and taking pics of the toiletries, don't judge) I will say that is the snazziest soap I have ever seen. Truly beats out all the tiny, palm sized bars we collected, erm, used.

Anonymous said...

Why, thank you for sharing, Erin.
No, I don't think the angle was necessarily unfair to her thigh. The tattoo seems a bit harsh to me, but that's a matter of personal taste. My kid thought it was great though.
PS-is that a steam turban or a gas turban? xxoo

Erin O'Brien said...

It was snazzy.

If I were a guy, I'd have put my pecker in the hole.

Erin O'Brien said...

MR--it's an urban turban.

twinkly sparkles said...

Not sure about this soap. It seems sexually suggestive, yes, and unusual, yes, but I'm still confused by it. I am just glad it has an solid fan in you.

The hotel looks posh and it's Deco, to boot. More posh than anywhere I've ever stayed for sure.

Erin O'Brien said...

It was funky/swank, Twinks.

The best part was that the hotel became part of the vacation. Instead of thinking how you've got to get out of the room and enjoy yourself, it was fun just being there.

OH--and howzabout coffee in the courtyard jacuzzi every morning? HELL YEAH!

Anonymous said...

Erin...SINCE you brought it 'up' (ie the pecker in the soap)...ain't an honest guy out of a thousand who could truthfully say they didn't think the same thing.
And while I'm in the gutter-when I read the heading to this post the first thing I thought of was 'surgical prep for a proceedure south of the border'.

Bill said...

Do they have larger bars?

DogsDontPurr said... I want to go back there just for the soap!

Funny story (not soap related):

When I stayed there 25 years or so ago, I reserved the room with my Dad's credit card (with his permission, as I did not yet have a credit card of my own). I didn't bring the card with me, assuming that there was no need for it. The room was prepaid, right? (Ah, the naive good old days.) Nor did I bring enough cash to pay for the room...I had given that to my Dad to pay the Visa bill.

Well, the front desk clerk, of course, asked for the card when I got there. D'oh! He was a very surly man with little sense of humor and no sympathy. He would not let me check in without the card. I was, stranded in Los Angeles, with very little money, and with no clue what to do. I was just about in tears.

Then, I came up with the brilliant idea of asking him to call my Dad to ask if I had permission to use the card.

He did!

After a short and very awkward conversation between him and my Dad...I was in! Amazing.

Again...ah, the naive good old days!!

(Back then, the room I stayed in was about $60 per night, if I recall. And it was bigger than the apartment I currently live in! It had a full kitchen, living room and separate bedroom. Amazing! Ah, the good old days.)

Erin O'Brien said...

You always have great stories DDP.

I stayed at the Shangri-La back in fall of 1994, before the renovation and it was as you say. We had a huge suite with a sitting room and kitchen. Mom, Dad, the Goat and I shared it. Dunno what it cost, my dad paid.

We were in LA to visit the set of LLV during filming.

Hence, this recent visit included a bit of nostalgia. How wonderful that it turned into an almost magical place--that goes for all of us, but especially Lil' OB.

Anonymous said...

Erin-an afterthought-I was amused by your choice of euphemism, ie 'pecker'.
I suppose it's different in every household.
Thoughts, anyone?

Leslie Morgan said...

Man, it's been too long since I got away for a little escape! I feel one coming on.

Erin O'Brien said...

The Shangri-La was surely that, Leslie. More convenient, less costly options include employing a marital aid, working a jigsaw or walking.

Erin O'Brien said...

A nice cupcake goes a long way as well.

Anonymous said...

Good afternoon, Erin...
re your 'marital aid' reference above, I came across a little snippet on the AP this morning. There is a trade show going on this week in Macau (Portugal's Hong Kong) catering to the sex toy trade in the far east in general, and China in particular.
A tradeshow representative had this to say: "the standard of living in China is rising and people want to upgrade their lifestyle so the market needs these products".
No word on whether cupcakes, jigsaw puzzles, or long walks played into the equation. Probably the issue there would be transportation costs.
Mike R