“Then I was just over it,” she said. “I was like, ‘Ahhhh.’ I was over it. I just, like, walked away. I’m not turned on by Hef, sorry.”My usual eye-rolling ensued, along with a mild feeling of victory. (I've been musing on the private conversations of the Girls Next Door for years.) But that's not the whole story.
Truth be told, I have towering respect for Hefner's publication achievements. Playboy was cutting edge when it debuted. Hefner was a self-made man. He was impervious to criticism and Bible-thumpers. He was also a notorious hands-on control freak of an editor, and Playboy (at least before it turned into a Photoshop freakshow) was his and his alone. I even have a modest collection of vintage Playboys from the 60s and 70s.
It goes deeper. These here pages are very loosely based on the original essence of Playboy, at least on a conceptual level. I may be a one-woman show, but I try to offer an eclectic mix of content with a specific point of view. And I field plenty of criticism for my political and sexual content. When that happens, I'll review The Owner's Manual by browsing through the first several pages. I always come away thinking: no, this is a righteous publication and it is as I wish it to be. Then I carry on.
So my disdain for today's Hef does not stem from some feminist snarling. He was a publication icon, a giant. Now he's reduced to embarrassing humiliation at the hands of some silly little broad he never should have tangled with in the first place.
And he keeps doing it again and again with one faceless blond twit after another. Hef gets older and my disappointment in the man gets more profound.
Why couldn't you have done this right, Hef? Why couldn't you have stepped out of the spotlight with dignity?
Dammit anyway.
52 comments:
I think that if anyone hangs around long enough they risk descending into self-parody. Hef passed that point a long time ago.
I am less sanguine than you are regarding Hef's contributions. Yes, he did break new ground and shake up stodgy conventions, and yes, he did put out a fine publication. But even in the days before photoshop there were many techniques to enhance the marketability of a product, and Playboy used all of them. Playboy images may have been a bit less fantastic(*) then than they are now, but they were still unrealistic.
This is because they were products, and I, personally, have a problem with that.
(I realize, of course, that this is part of the genius of Hef - no matter who you are or where you come from on the political scale, if you're a thinking person you've got some sort of ideological beef with Hef. And he wanted it that way.)
* used in the sense of 'fantasy', not 'great!'
Exelon Patch. Unfortunately Hef is a good candidate for this med.
Playboy also used to have some exceptional fiction I believe, and occasionally some really interesting art.
You're perhaps kinder about him than he deserves, EOB. Yes, he did what he did extremely well. Didn't cave to the opinions of others easily. A man to be contended with in his time. I've been amused sometimes reading about his alleged uncontrolled sexual will run riot, but I don't know the man. How do I know if that stuff's true? But THEN, as you point out, there is the endless parade of blondes 60 years his junior . . who's having the last laugh? Hef or Blondie with the $90K ring he let her keep?
Note to self: when preparing for one's last innings in life, be sure to include a power of attorney so SOMEONE can keep one out of one's own way when that appears prudent.
“Why couldn't you have stepped out of the spotlight with dignity?”
Perhaps because there is nowhere to step away to. When your persona is your lifestyle is your business is your passion… what else does one do?
Saying “well that Playboy stuff was fine for its time.. but I’ve moved on now” would be de facto admission that you can’t have it all to begin with, and Hef is in the business of saying “no all you need is this gaudy looking crap and some babes”.
Stepping aside with Dignity is sort of like deciding whether to spit or swallow, no?
RJ
@ RJ ~ Good to see you back at the Manual!
So, I'd submit that if an old goat doesn't want to make that spit/swallow choice, he might stumble, break a hip and choke on it.
Maybe his fate was inescapable, but then I think of a guy like Mick Jagger or Steven Tyler and I'm not so sure.
They didn't lose their identities, but they didn't bottom out either.
Anyway, I'd much rather be arguing about Hefner and the appropriate disposal of ejaculate than THE MANUFACTURED POLITICAL CRISIS THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED.
Okay. I'm done. Just had to get that out. Calming down now. Carry on, me droogies.
Hefner is 85 frickin years old! He has dementia. He's at least 20 years older than Jagger and Tyler. He can't sing. He can't get it up. He, evidently, has no good advisors. Sure, he looks foolish but taking advantage of an old guy, by talking him into giving youa a $90k ring, could be illegal.
Playboy and the empire that Hef built lost it's core vision and direction a while ago. It is unfortunate that no one has been able to take on the duty of restoring it to what it could be. Because of the current prevalence of airbrushed people assaulting our eyeballs from publications, would anyone actually buy a Playboy that was retro shot? Could that even be done within the realm of today's image control and final approval contracts from the model agents? It seems like Esquire has moved in that direction, providing writing and interviews of and by exceptional people of our time. The images are still airbrushed out of reality, but the writing is solid. IMHO.
I thought "the appropriate disposal of ejaculate" WAS the political crisis.
RJ
No fool like an old fool. Hef's honeymoon in Viagra Falls is over.
Silicone should only be used in coolant hoses on hot rods, which should have indy outsider girls draped over their fenders whenever stationary.
As a comic art nerd, I'm interested in your description of Hefner as a control freak. One person he may have destroyed creatively with his hands-on approach is Harvey Kurtzman, who created Mad Magazine. After several failed commercial (though not artistic) attempts to duplicate his success with other magazines, Kutzman went to work for Hefner writing the Little Annie Fannie comic. Anybody familiar with both his Mad and Playboy work knows about the fershlugginer drop in quality. According to an interview with lifelong colloborator Will Elder, Kurtzman was bombarded with notes from Hefner demanding that this or that be changed. In another interview with Robert Crumb, he describes visiting Kurtzman in his office in the 1970s and watching him break down in tears from all the Hefner memos.
On the plus side, Hefner did publish Jules Feiffer. And many of the cartoonists from The New Yorker have appeared in Playboy as well.
Of course, I realize people don't always read Playboy for the cartoons.
Erin-vis-a-vis THE MANUFACTURED CRISIS WHICH SHALL NOT BE NAMED:
Thanks for trying to bring it up again, in your own inimitably subtle way.
Any resolution which emerges will be a poor result for the average citizen.
IMPORTANT COMMENT INTERRUPTION FOR BREAKING NEWS! (5:45 pm, 7/31/11)
Headline News, right now:
5 correspondents discussing Hef's runaway bride trashing Hef. Hef, send some guys to get the ring back. FIVE FUCKING CORRESPONDENTS!!! Perhaps we are all doomed..
Back to point of the original train of thought, before my sense of irony and disgust derailed it:
One of the recurring discussions throughout this sad saga is the fate of the Bush-era 'job creating' tax cuts. The President in December wanted to eliminate them for the $250,000 and plus club. Faced with an all-or-nothing choice by the Republicans in the Senate, the President signed legislation that extended them for all taxpayers. Also being held hostage: extension of unemployment benefits for the long-term unenployed.
Not the first hostage situation entered into by the Republicans and sure not to be the last.
My point is this: when the first of Bushes' tax cuts were voted in (when the country inherited a surplus, on track to PAY OFF the entire national debt), I told my wife, "this an insult. We get dinner and a movie, while someone gets a new BMW of a 2 week cruise to the Mediterranean Isles. I don't want this petty gain now, for my kids or (if it please you God) my grandchildren to pay later.
I think that a lot of people, especially those with kids, would gladly give up our puny tax break under the Bush cuts if it would help bring the entire tax code back into balance.
BTW: 'dinner and a movie' under current conditions has become 'dinner OR a movie'. By dinner, I mean Value Menu: by movie, I mean Redbox or Netflix or the library.
Mike R
LIBRARY?
You socialist!
From: Humble hostess
To: Elusive commenter
Re: Library
The humble hostess recognizes that the author of the comment that elicited the humble hostess's "library" comment has chosen to delete his/her comment.
The humble hostess wishes said commenter to know that she was being most sarcastic when she made her comment (although she would not find it all that surprising if a certain faction of the American electorate believes libraries to be bastions of socialism), and that she appreciated the comment that has since been deleted by the elusive commenter.
The humble hostess recognizes that this comment has gone on quite long enough and bids the readership well.
Thank you for your continued support,
The Humble Hostess
PS and Confidential to whom it may concern: The humble hostess does not have a Netflix account.
Off Topic: "PROFITS CREATE JOBS"
Banking giant HSBC posts $11.5 billion profit, announces plan to slash 25,000 more jobs
Cuts equate to roughly 10 percent of total workforce
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43968434/ns/business-world_business/
P.S. Welcome to the post "Debt Deal" Depression. 8/1/2011.
RJ
@ RJ + everyone - just saw that HSBC headline along with the one that says "if compromise means something that nobody is satisfied with, then this one is a beauty". Here we go, folks.
Actually, RJ, it will, forever, be known as the Obama Depression. Depressing,isn't it? And, it has nothing to do with the phony debt ceiling debate.
@Leslie(The Voluptuous Jessica Rabbit of The Owners Manual)...
...my favorite so far (there are SO MANY!)
"Burning down the house to heat it."
RJ
Ya know "The Left" can't accomplish shit politically but we sure are literate.
@ RJ ~ Ha ~ Jessica Rabbit! Though I might like to sport Kathleen Turner's voice . . .
Yeah, "burning down the house" is good, but I sense we're going to need to write these things down. They'll be coming faster than we can memorize them.
Perhaps we can't accomplish shit, but we sure as shit aren't going to be "left" behind, are we? Literacy trumps a multitude of sins.
WV - undicend, which put me in mind of the theme of the original post.
@Bill. Obama certainly complicit in this debacle but that appellation is so pregnant with meaning that it would require an essay beyond the scope of this here comment section.
I personally would like to nominate "Supply Side: The Sequel" as a label but, again, it's early yet.
RJ
EVERYBODY go read Mike r's comment above.
It got spammed. Sorry ...
Erin-thanks for finding my stray. It's actually a bit apropos because the Library is one of the reasons I'm working on the Kill SB 5 campaign-why does Kasich have to go fucking around with our librarians? When was the last time a library issue got voted down? I like my librarians, I like my cops and firefighters, I LOVE my special-needs son's teachers. LOVE 'EM!!
Screw you, Kasich. Maybe if you went to a union barber your hair wouldn't look like douche.
Mike R
I agree with everything you said, Mike, except I don't think Kasich's hair resembles a vaginal irrigation device.
I am, however, pleased to be able to type "vaginal irrigation device" in the comment section of a post on Hugh Hefner.
BREAKINBG NEWS:
Rep. Gabrielle Giffords has returned to the floor of the House of Representatives to vote on the debt ceiling 'deal'.
God Bless the United States of America, with people such as she.
Mike R
wv: oppea: You know, like in that song-el-em-en-oppea
I WANT TO PUKE!
Has there EVER been a more cynical freak show than parading Giffords into the middle of this GANG RAPE to give the pols cover.
GAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RJ
66 teabaggers who started all this bullshit voted AGAINST the compromise.
Meanwhile, liberalism, progressivism, whatever you want to call it, has been thrown under the bus.
Change I don't want to believe in.
RJ-it's not like it was advertised.
Her husband, an astronaut and an officer, is going to let her appear for POLITICAL gain, by either side?
And mentioning rape in any way referential to a woman exposed to any kind of violence?
I didn't see her 'paraded' in any way, shape or form.
She was lucid, recognized her colleagues, and made an informed vote on the issue at hand.
Her good friends in the Congress had no such compunction about her appearence.
Dude, I usually agree with you.But you way, way, WAY fucked up with that comment.
Mike R
Yikes! And I repeat, "here we go".
WV-missi. What someone just called me after I smarted off to him in a parking lot.
I had rather be a dog, and bay the moon,
Than such a Roman.
RJ
@ RJ ~ Help me here. I THINK I'm wit' you. I nay at the moon. So, get me up to speed. You know how to reach me. Romans may kiss my ass. Now what? ~ ~LM
RJ-
Cry havoc, and let slip some knuckleheads who can't think of a better way to repent for an idiot post....
Mike R
really, dude, you don't think that was a moron post? REALLY?
really?
ps to Leslie..bray, or neigh, or bark...I dunno about 'nay'
Things to enjoy while on summer Vay-cay...
E-mail your Senator(s), Congressional representatives, or the White House...
Inquire whether, based upon their comments on -x-channel, a reasonable person would consider that they were a reckless, dangerous nut.
You may or may not get a real response, but it is strangely gratifying and a lot of fun.
Mike R
Leslie and RJ. Maybe you guys should get a room.
@Leslie...re the kissing of the ass...Maybe the Greeks before the Romans...
Mike R
I thought Giffords looked good.
Amid the swirling stupidity of this entire debt crisis debacle, I felt a tiny albeit palpable relief at the human moment.
That she was alongside Wasserman Schultz made me grin. Allen West should have felt about an inch tall (although I'm sure he didn't).
@ all ~ Really? Really? KISS ass? I'm not thinking so. Maybe join up with others to KICK some ass. Bill, you think RJ and I should get a room? Would you like to contribute to that? $$? Come on, RJ! Going there?
Last evening at an AA meeting, I was reminded of something: the need of some people to disturb what I think to make what THEY think so much wiser/better. Yes, well.
Erin-
Allen West was one of the MEMBERS (hehehehe-he said 'member') I e-mailed in the above mentioned format.
His staff sent back a form letter.
Punk-ass bully.
Mike R
"RJ-
Cry havoc, and let slip some knuckleheads who can't think of a better way to repent for an idiot post....
Mike R
really, dude, you don't think that was a moron post? REALLY?
really?"
Dear Mike R (aka Pollyanna),
I don't think my comments were equivocal. I stand by them.
RJ (aka Moron, Idiot, et al)
@ Mike R ~ BARK? WTF, Pollyanna? Really. Really.
Lots of women DO stand by their man. We getting that room, RJ, or what? I DO love me a moron.
@Leslie
Elvis Suite at the Stratosphere. I'll sign in as Mitch McConnell.
RJ
RJ-I referred to the remarks and not the individual.
And if viewing the reference to rape in conjunction with a woman who is recovering from a vicious assault as moronic makes me a Pollyanna, I'll wear it.I would, however prefer Doctor Pangloss. Everything is for the best in this, the best of all possible worlds.
Speaking of old guys and young girls, where are all the libs asking about how long and how much in Libya? Wasn't it going to be a matter of days?
On the way, RJ ~ er, Mitch. No sense to drive. I live right in its shadow. See you there. LM (Jessica)
Another Moron. Posted Tue 8/2 so I couldn't have cribbed it.
2011/08/02/debt-ceiling-deal-trickery-a-catalyst-for-an-uprising/
"What has been on display really isn’t “rank incompetence” at all. As many people who write and discuss politics are realizing, the Democrats’ role in the debt ceiling crisis was to not fight back against the GOP or the Obama Administration. It was to concede when necessary.
And, atrociously, the final moment of rolling over and playing dead for corporations and the wealthy in America came just when the Democratic Party seemingly used Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ), who was shot in the head in Arizona by a sociopath in January. She was trotted out to vote for the deal. Standing on the House floor, Giffords’ condition was exploited to ensure that not enough Democrats would vote against the deal."
RJ
Conspicuously missing is the phrase "gang rape". Trying to refute my point, you instead concede it.
Mike R
Having vanquished your foe perhaps you could persuade our humble hostess to grant you an opportunity to teach a tutorial on the proper use of metaphor, particularly as it applies to the use of violent imagery. But that I was so erudite.
RJ
Here it is: rape imagery vis-a-vis a Woman who has been the victim of a horrific violent crime=bad idea. Defending it=really bad idea.
Class over, your grades are in the mail.
Dr. Pangloss
Cleary, you people don't need me.
Who's Cleary?
The French guy from Hogan's Heroes?
Dr. Pangloss
wv: zingnm-a zing here, a zing there, zingnm left and right...
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