Friday, January 28, 2011

Little known Goat/O'Brien facts

When the Goat shovels the drive (winter) or mows (summer) or rakes (fall)*, the O'Brien sits on the couch and peers over the back cushion and out the window, watching him covertly. The O'Brien fancies her surveillance as mysterious and interesting behavior.

The Goat: tall; the O'Brien: short. (see photo insert)

The Goat's desire to save everything (case in point: inoperable 8-year old HP laser printer taking up entire drawer of file cabinet in laundry room**) is tempered by the primary O'Brien directive: When the shit I do not need is in the way of the shit that I do need, something has got to give. (further to case in point: otherwise perfectly usable file cabinet drawer space is rendered unusable by inoperable 8-year old HP laser printer).

The Goat: wine; the O'Brien: whiskey.

The O'Brien signals her interest in conjugal activity to the Goat by leaving the bed unmade.

The Goat wanted a big wedding and reception, while the O'Brien lobbied for the justice of the peace and can of beer. They negotiated and ended up with a pastor in the living room of O'Brien's parents with the reception in the dining room.

The Goat: tea/newspaper; the O'Brien: coffee/laptop.

Sometimes the O'Brien places her mouth on flat areas of the Goat's body and makes noises evocative of flatulence.

Sometimes the Goat refers to the O'Brien as "Irish."

The O'Brien enjoys Goat whiskers immensely. Unfortunately (for the O'Brien) Goat whiskers are a rare phenomenon as the Goat prefers to be clean-shaven (which the O'Brien finds ironic, the Goat being a goat and all).

*Yes, the O'Brien helps with leaf removal and clears the drive of snow when obliged. The O'Brien rarely, however, cuts the grass. Lil' O'B, conversely, seems to relish the task of lawn-mowing.

**At this time, the O'Brien is not accepting questions about why the file cabinet is in the laundry room.

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9 comments:

Big Mark 243 said...

I recall reading YEARS ago about a couple where the wife would signal her interest in a bedroom liason with her spouse in a similiar fashion... tried to incoporate that in my marriage and in my co-hab relationships... FAIL!

Sister girls are not into such small shows of adoration... but yet they want romance in their relationships. Curse 'hip-pop' music! Not to mention R&B music (which stands for 'rap and bullsh*t)!!

What makes you two a perfect pair is the symmetry of your imperfections. They don't oppose but complement each other. I am soo happy for the both of you... not to mention you both make a winning couple!

swine said...

...and this is another thing I love about The O'Brien/Goat relationship: The OB: Mini Cooper, The Goat: A nice, mid-size to large American car. Perfect balance, unlike my household which exclusively drives Axis-made vehicles: VW Jetta and Honda Civic. SCHWEIN!

Bill said...

Nice post Erin. Loving family. In my humble opinion, you're living the American dream.

Judy said...

Interesting combination of likes/opposites...

Goat said...

Let me clarify.
Leaf removal consists of "the O'Brien" patiently waiting until all of the leaves are in neat piles then she bounds out of the house and "helps" rake the leaves onto a tarp. The O'Brien at this point may or may not continue her herculean efforts and help to drag the tarp to the woods.

Erin O'Brien said...

You Goat!

Anonymous said...

Goat said "herculean."

There go the sheets.

For some reason he does seem to evoke those characters in literature often described as "constant."

Anonymous said...

^RJ

Louis said...

Li'l O'B may be a chip of the Irish block in the fam, as I remember you posting a photo of you as a youngster mowing your lawn in Lakewood.