As you can see, the sons of bitches over at Proctor Gamble have pulled a fast one.
It's a bit difficult to see in today's graphic, but essentially we're looking at one hell of a lot more box here than tissue--about a one inch differential. So instead of the Puffs box being filled with Puffs, it's filled with 90 percent Puffs and ten percent deception.
And here I am, with no idea how long I've been pulling a Puff from a box and blowing into a goddamn postage stamp. Is it any wonder why I've been using two tissues every time I get a serious runner?
Talk about your embarrassment. I'm usually on top of this sort of thing. I see what the corporate bastards are doing. I'm onto the 59-ounce "half gallon" of orange juice. And yes, the O'Brien checks and makes sure that she's getting a full 12 ounces in her can of shitty beer. I bought a twelve pack of that nancy Stella Artois beer? I get it home? What do I see? Eleven POINT TWO ounces in the goddamn bottle!
Your Pabst boys wouldn't try to pull that off on a PBR drinker. Your PBR drinkers know which side of the bread is buttered, baby.
I am not the only one onto these shitbags. You are not going to believe this, but dig what "Monika, Puffs Team" told "NoticesDetails" on the Puffs consumer comment page:
We are often faced with difficult choices when our costs rise, we can change the package, product or price. I hope you understand and continue be Puffs loyal.I think I'll go blow my nose in Monika's hair, the silly little broad.
(Who says some shit like "Puffs loyal?" And how irritating is that "K" in Monika? How much you want to bet when you meet that silly little broad and say, "Nice to finally meet you in person, Monika," that she gives you a tight-lipped smile and says, "Actually, it's pronounced Moe-KNEE-ka." Screw her.)
Maybe I'll get a hankie and carry it in my back pocket like a dude. Blow my nose in there and shove it back into my pants just like that.
But to hell with those Proctor Gamble shitbags. You hear this Moe-KNEE-ka? The O'Brien isn't going to be one of your "Puffs loyal" blowers anymore.
Don't believe me? Just ask the mothers over at Colgate Palmolive.
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