Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Comments fielded by a large-breasted woman

"Nice rack."

"Must be nippy outside. Get it? Nippy? Ha!"


"Now here's a girl who can float. Can't you, baby? Float, that is?"

"Nice tits."

"Jesus Christ, this broad is stacked."

"Would you look at the tits on that one?"

"Nice jugs."

(with an Austrian accent) "Dees, day about perfect. How 'bout I get a dittle peek?"

"Can I just see them? I won't touch them. I just want to see them. So, can I see them? Just see them? No touching. At all. Promise. Please?"

"Nice melons."

"Pennies or half dollars?"

"Can the twins come out and play?"

"Nice cans."

"Do you ever, um ... you know ... do it in between those?"

* * *


Anonymous said...

"More than a mouthful is wasted."


RC said...


Cosmic Navel Lint said...

The list could be endless:

"Madam! Do you have a license for those?"

"Nice thru'pennies!" (three-penny bits, contracted to 'thru'pennies', is rhyming slang for tits)

"They were like two puppies fighting under a blanket."

"They were like a dead heat in a Zeppelin race!"

The US word is 'sweater'; the UK/Irish/Australian/South African/Canadian and New Zealand term for the same garment is 'jumper' - so, ever since women were allowed into the Royal Navy, they have been referred to as "Lumpy Jumpers".

B.E. Earl said...

"Knock, knock"

LBW: "Who's there?"


LBW: "Emerson who?"

"Emerson biiiiig titties!"

Craig Hughes said...

Yea, "Major League yavoos". - from Animal House

Glass Houses said...

Now that I'm breast feeding, my relationship with my boobs is completely different and mostly frustrating. They refuse to do what I want them to do when I want them to do it. They used to be so well behaved.

Shaina said...

i'm so glad i don't have my huge boobies anymore. i've got a nice big, perfect handful now, enough to still make great cleavage but i can wear normal clothes :-)

here's my addition to the list: "your boob is smothering me" -an ex of mine

Mr. L said...

Hardly a summer night goes by along Revere Beach (MA) without the call of the horny young males in passing cars:

Sean Craven said...

Jesus. Thanks for reminding me that dudes are gross, as if I could ever forget...

You know who can pull this kind of thing off? Older black men. "Excuse me, miss, I just wanted you to know that the sight of you brought a smile to my face."

I am studying.

Both Sides of Gaia said...

I can really relate to this. I'm a size 12 jean with a F cup bra. Yeah. I've heard them all. I've started throwing them out there before everyone else, just to get it over with. They have their own zip code, they enter the room/city/county before I do, I'm smuggling oompa loompas in there. On the other hand, if I need to distract someone, all I have to do is stretch. :)

J9 said...

I've heard a few in my day:
"Jeezus Chreeeist, that's a couplea seals right there!"
ans when I was breat feeding, "Do those come with a life preserver?"

dean said...

Men have an uneasy relationship with breasts.

We notice them. This is unavoidable: there are little pattern recognition circuits built into us somewhere (I'm not sure they're coded in brainware, they may be lower down) that kick us in the ass when femininity is presented.

But how are we supposed to react? We often don't know. They are thrust into our faces. They are pushed up, squeezed in, framed in lace, right up there just below eye level.

Most aspects of human behaviour being bell-shaped, for every clueless knob who breathes through his mouth and drops one of those clever lines, there are 20 men who just quietly appreciate.

Erin O'Brien said...

Then there's the poor bastards who just plain got no alibi--the ones who stare at your chest for the entire conversation.

When I am doing a professional interview and get this behavior, it amazes me.

"Can you tell me a little bit about how the partnership began?"

"Yes," says Mr. Gape directly to my chest, "I met Ralph in college .... " and he continues on like that, his eyes never leaving the comfort of the girls.

You almost have to respect the honest of it.

Dan said...

Oh,Erin, your blog is such a hoot.

(Go ahead, keep waiting. You think I'm setting up a "hooter" joke, aren't you? Well, I'm not. I'm a sensitive new age guy. In fact, I wouldn't dream of judging you by the size of your golden bozos.)

Anonymous said...

I knew I'd eventually discover the truth at this blog. The smuggled oompa loompas are destroying America.


Matt Conlon said...

Comments like this were much more interested before my wife and I had two daughters.

Word verification: Marobia. A suburb of Shitkanistan?

Bill said...

i had a boss once who had huge tits. my boss was a guy. never heard him comment about womens tits.

had a girlfriend once with no tits. her last name was calkins. called her concave calkins.

LimesNow said...

You can make eye contact with me now. They're not going to talk to you.

WV - dirte. Take it away, Erin!

Anonymous said...

Boobie Staring Thru the Decades:

In the office of art professor at local kollidge. He stares shameslessly at my chest and says, "I once had a student with beautiful breasts like yours. She saw me looking and said, 'oh do you like them?' and lifted up her shirt and showed them to me."

18-year-old-me, aghast, speechless, thinks: Its not going to happen again, pal! and changes the subject.

Our next assignment was to make a hat. I cut up a purple velvet dress that had been a Halloween costume, and fashioned a hat...a nice stuffed soft sculpture, really, made of many many boobies all sticking out all over the place, with nipples of orange/yellow variegated yarn.

This time he was speechless.. He stared, tilted his head sideways, and said, "Is that...??" he trailed off. "Yes," I said, "it is."

Fast-forward to me in my 30's hanging around with bikers (the motorized kind). Bike shop owner stares shamelessly at my chest and says, "nice tits." Much more confident by now, I say, "thanks, I grew 'em myself". I won't even get into what happened at swap meets.

In my 50's. A grandmother. Nobody's very much interested anymore. It's the boobs who do the the floor...But there's one person who still appreciates them- I see my husband outside snowblowing the driveway and decide to give him a treat. I had my shirt halfway up when I realized it was actually my brother-in-law...


Amy L. Hanna said...

"Eyes up here, ya boob." - Owner

They are thrust into our faces.
As are unwelcome stares.

philbilly said...

I couldn't decide whether to comment on the previous post or this one then Both Sides of Gaia stretched and I, I, uh...

Anonymous said...

ERIN!!! YOU MUST SEE THIS!!! ROFLMAO---(I am a fan who reads you daily)

April said...

As the owner of a pair of very, very, small boobs, (seriously, 32A) I never thought I would say this, but you have made me rather glad my chest goes through each day unnoticed.

I'm no longer saving for an augmentation.