Monday, July 21, 2008

It's not all garlic frosting and goats over here ...

I also get mad as hell. I was furious all day yesterday after reading "The Pursuit of Teen Girl Purity" from Time/CNN July 17, 2008. Here's an excerpt:
Kylie Miraldi has come from California to celebrate her 18th birthday tonight. She'll be going to San Jose State on a volleyball scholarship next year. Her father, who looks a little like Superman, is on the dance floor with one of her sisters; he turns out to be Dean Miraldi, a former offensive lineman with the Philadelphia Eagles. When Kylie was 13, her parents took her on a hike in Lake Tahoe, Calif. "We discussed what it means to be a teenager in today's world," she says. They gave her a charm for her bracelet--a lock in the shape of a heart. Her father has the key. "On my wedding day, he'll give it to my husband," she explains. "It's a symbol of my father giving up the covering of my heart, protecting me, since it means my husband is now the protector. He becomes like the shield to my heart, to love me as I'm supposed to be loved."

I wonder if she gets a sparkle berry pink chastity belt as well.

I'd heard of those vile "promise rings" before, but these Cinderella-style balls and the archaic vows are a new low. Score one for the bad guys.

17 comments:

Phil Plait, The Bad Astronomer said...

I haven't mentioned recently how much I love you. You're awesome.

Jen said...

aw... she's daddy's little piece of property! ain't that sweet?

blech.

Sujoy Bhattacharjee said...

Completely unrelated to this post.
Watched Leaving Las Vegas for the second time last week...the first time I saw it in '97, I was too young to appreciate what John actually wanted to say. Wikipedia says LLV is 'semi-autobiographical', so I looked around, unsuccessfully, for the original book.
Anyways, just wanted to thank John, wherever he may be, for LLV. Hope he is at peace with himslf.

And yes, you blog makes an interesting read

Anonymous said...

Promise rings, chastity belts....ack ack ack ack ack!!!

Geez. When are people going to realize that we need to love our bodies. If sex was not considered such a taboo, we would not have soooo many awful problems.

Sorry, I'm just rambling on because you struck a chord with me. But we are definitely on the same page...for sure.

Now bring on the garlic frosting! I want to bathe in it!!!

Anonymous said...

i have heard of such things. however, i have also heard--where, i don't remember--that chastity pledges and shit don't actually make much of a difference. if little princess kylie meets up with a handsome hunk on a motorcycle, she's no less likely than her classmates to go riding off into sin with him.
so there.

Velvet Fog said...

Dongley Shonglford can take care of that lickity clit.

Mongrel Porksword said...

I like virgins.

Anonymous said...

We all better screw our brains out because the "Christian Men" are marching us toward Armageddon as fast as they can. All in the interest of purity, of course.

RJ

Norm said...

Brad Renfro (kid actor, The Client, dead at 25 of heroin overdose the same week as Heath Ledger) got his big break in the movies when a police officer he'd worked with on an anti-drug video introduced him to the director of The Client.

I'm sure all this purity shit works just as well as DARE -- ask any kid.

I deal with this situation with painfully awkward frank discussions and signing them up for the HPV vaccine.

Zen Wizard said...

Actually, in ancient England, the female WAS property of the dad who was transferred to the groom.

That is how the engagement ring came into being.

It's called livery of seisin.

But enough of the history lesson--this chick and her dad sound like a real pain in the ass. I pity the schmuck who consents to this shit. That would seem to portend a lot of thrown golf games playing with "New Dad" in the future.

Also, Has-been will come over and want to "share his football wisdom" on Sunday, etc.

See, also: Jessica & Joe Simpson, etc.

Anonymous said...

My brother raised his daughter this way. What did she do her very first quarter of college? Got herself pregnant. Them's good family values!

I am so sick of this Puritan shit, I can't tell you.

Amy L. Hanna said...

Daddy's an offensive lineman, all right.

THE MERKIN MAN said...

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who was disturbed. Shit like that goes over big down here in Georgia.

Deodand said...

Daddy may have a lock on her heart, but her cooch is another problem! Not to mention the 99 other ways to do it without doin' it. Better get some more locks Dad.

emmapeelDallas said...

Yeah, and does Daddy have a comparable charm for his SONS, if he has any? Is there a "Pursuit of Teen Boy Purity" movement out there? Or do boys get to "practice" on girls less valued than Kylie? Grrrrr.

Erin O'Brien said...

Thanks for everyone's great comments.

The more I thought this over, the worse it got. Whenever our "pure" girlies lose their virginity isn't the issue, it's the life long cost to their self-esteem that disgusts me.

Anonymous said...

Text from her boyfriend:

"Somebody call a locksmith? LOL OMFG ur dadz a twit"