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According to this, stay-at-home moms are worth nearly $120,000 a year.
Dunno, but here's the real skinny on the stay-at-home thing:
This is the best gig around. Believe me--I know what I'm talking about. The other day, for instance, I screwed the Goat silly (what other job lets you do that on the clock?), then changed the sheets and pranced around the house in my undies while doing the laundry. I was laughing my head off the whole time.
The attire seemed so perfect that I got a cup of coffee and sat down at my computer. The morning light was streaming through the window and I turned around for some reason and saw that, at the right angle, my boob was perfectly outlined in shadow on the floor. Since my camera was on my desk, I took a picture of that.
Then I thought maybe I could come up with lyrics to "Boob Shadow" that could be sung along to the tune of Cat Steven's marshmallowy classic Moonshadow:
That was boring, but got me thinking music so I synced my iPod in preparation for a five mile walk, which I took while listening to music and Dan Savage. I didn't feel like cooking I asked the Goat to take me out to dinner. He did.
That's a typical day. Different days mean different stuff, but lunch is always totally effing great. Sometimes I have leftovers, which is fine, but usually I make myself a sandwich. I don't eff around, either. I'm talking mayo/lettuce/fresh lunch meat and chips on the side. I always cut the sandwich and pull the two halves apart so it looks attractive. I set a dill pickle on the side of the plate. I have a Diet Pepsi or better yet, a club soda with a slice of lime.
This shit totally rocks.
Sometimes I don't feel like doing anything and I just lie in the middle of the floor, blinking at the ceiling. Naps are good too. If it's hot, I nap in the front room on the leather couch, which feels cool. If it's cold, I make a nice pillow/blankie nest on the big couch in the family room. Sometimes I snore when I nap. Sometimes I diddle myself and then fall asleep.
So that's what it's really like. But hey, if someone wants to pay me $120K for this, I am totally down with it.
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