Saturday, December 22, 2007

Frozen shoe

I am on my way into the local discount store for the first time of the day in order to purchase the potatoes and shampoo I forgot yesterday and forget to purchase milk and Scotties in order to return later today when I spy something irregular on the asphalt. I veer over to investigate.

It's a shoe perfectly encased in a sheath of ice from the overnight storm. I nudge it with my toe by way of inspection and pull out my phone cam in order to record this event.

"You need some help, lady?"

I look up to see a figure in an orange vest approaching me--the cart corral man employed by the discount store. I am touched that he should show concern over someone bent over in the parking lot holding a cell phone. Was I having a heart attack? About to spew chunks?

"No, I'm fine," I say with a big friendly throw-away gesture. "Just taking a picture of this shoe."

"A what?" he says, his steps slowing.

"This frozen shoe," I say. "It's frozen. Just taking a picture."

The cart man stops walking.

"I mean, I take pictures of things," I say, "for my website. See?" I pick up the shoe and hold it up. "It's a shoe. Frozen in ice--a perfect coating."

"Oh," says the cart man.

"Already got the pic. It's great," I say. "A great frozen shoe picture for my site."

The cart man stands there blinking.

"I'll just set this aside," I say, "in case the shoe-owner comes around looking for it."

The cart man offers a patronizing smile.

I set the shoe on a nearby curb. "Just set it right here," I says. "Just in case."

The cart man starts nodding and backing away from me.

"That's all taken care of," I say too loudly. Then I predictably continue to overcompensate and add, "Thanks Christmas."

The cart man does not respond to my nonsensical tidings, but turns to the expanse of asphalt. I suck into the land of toilet paper, mechanical singing Santas, and Hamburger Helper.

* * *

Diamonds rain on the thin man from Venice.
Blood orange.
Fronds swaying, sound piercing.


Toby said...

I went to Menards this morning to purchase earth saving, electric bill reducing flourecent light bulbs. I'm officially green.

The sale paper said two packs of four for $15 but the total came up to $17 and I questioned it. The girl physically rang a bell and I was on hold. I apologized to the customer right behind me.

Another girl walked up with a sale paper and proved me wrong and I bent and just paid the asking price.

About 10 feet later on my way out the door I was accosted by some dork wearing a yellow Menards vest demanding to see the contents of my bag and my receipt.

Too bad I didn't have my camera.

Happy Happy, Erin!!!

apogee_v said...

I was in south Texas, August, 2001, when I saw a teenage girl with one red tennis shoe. She told me she had lost her other shoe in a hole and her toes were suddenly very cold.

I believe she must have stepped in a time/dimension portal.

It all makes so much sense to me now.

Nin Andrews said...

Man it's so scary out there. I would have been run over photographing anything today. Mad Santas on a buying surge . . .

hal said...

I drove around much of east side Cleveland, and must have seen 679,000 Marc's stores, and all of them looked like they could have had a frozen shoe in their lot.

hoosierboy said...

Merry Christmas

deangc said...

I could write a story about that shoe.

I like photographing the odd and the absurd, and while I've gotten better at doing it and not caring what people think, I still prefer to photograph weird things while nobody is around.

Don't think I've ever photographed an ice covered shoe, though.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Christmas. I'll have to remember that one.


glittergirl said...

i was vacationing in amish country, and brought my digital camera along. we wandered into a thrift store full of weird old relics. old abandoned xmas trees, walkers, perfectly shined shoes, etc...

i spent about 20 minutes just photographing the piles of "junk" (someone else's treasures as they say). on the way out an older man stopped me, looking very suspicious, and asked me what in the world i was taking photos of.

i tried to explain how i am fascinated by the old, the unusual and the mundane. how i wondered who that walker had belonged to, or if someone was missing their xmas tree. i pointed to a creepy little clown doll on a shelf behind him, snapped a photo of it, then showed him the photo on the cameras view finder. i said, "to me, that clown is interesting. it's creepy and funny, ya know what i mean?"

he shook his head and said, "no, i don't know what you mean." and i scooted my ass right out of that store.

anyways, i loved your frozen shoe photo and the story accompanying it.

EBEZP said...

A very Happy Christmas Erin to you and yours.

Patrick said...

Haha, Thanks Christmas, Erin! That was awesomely funny.