Tuesday, November 27, 2007

How to stay married for 15 years: scene from an American bedroom

FADE IN:

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

GOAT, a male, and WIFE OF GOAT, an incredibly sexy, brilliant, funny, attractive and vivacious fortysomething (but doesn't look it) woman cuddle in the bed.


WIFE OF GOAT
You know something honey?

GOAT
hm?

WIFE OF GOAT
If you were to croak and I started dating again, I think I could go out with another woman.
(gazing thoughtfully at nothing)
And if we ended up in bed, I imagine it would be fun. Successful, even.
(beat)
But no matter how good it was, it would still be a lie because the heterosexual experience is so important to me, I would eventually return to it.
(sincerely)
So inviting another woman to my bed would be a silly, immature ruse.

GOAT
(eyes closed, arms wrapped tightly around WIFE OF GOAT)
Maybe we ought to try it out anyway.

WIFE OF GOAT
(laughs hysterically)


FADE OUT

11 comments:

kilax said...

We had this exact same conversation last night in bed too!

Just kidding :)

shaina said...

i love you. i cannot say this enough. you're hilarious.

Trée said...

I wish my wife would show interest in women. I'm damn tired of her bugging the hell out of me. :-D

Satan said...

i thought that was why you bought the squash

BV said...

Trust me...you would definitely go back to men. I did! I'm living proof.

ajooja said...

My wife has done it a couple of times "for me." She wouldn't necessarily seek out a relationship with a woman, but she's always enjoyed herself.

The Goat would enjoy himself too, but probably not as much as he imagines. (At least that's how it was for me.)

Talk, talk, talk, then take a shot.

It's fun. It's better than sitting at home watching HGTV or something.

Apogee_V said...

Excuse me while I turn down the HGTV.

Hal said...

I have been attached to this project, playing the role of goat.

Amy L. Hanna said...

Hmm.

Would this exchange have been just as comical if it were the "Goat" voicing the same hypothetical involving another man?

Just wondering.

Renee Somebody said...

Hey doll-
I'd offer myself up in the spirit of experimentation just to bring a smile to your face :)

Silly Old Bear said...

Better than HGTV, for sure; but what about FoodTV? Hmm?