Why?

If it's not bad enough waiting in a medical exam room, there's always the informational posters on the wall. The one in today's graphic was titled, "The Digestive System."

Pyloric sphincter?

I would have been perfectly happy believing Pyloric was a flooring manufacturer for the rest of my life.

Say Pyloric and You've Said Quality!

And what the eff is the Wall of Jejunum? Sounds like a God Squad thing.

And unto them was delivered a map and the map they did read and the map they did follow and before them did rise the Wall of Jejunum and they did raise their hands to The Heavens and they did weep before the Glory of His Divine Direction.

Shit.

I was relieved when my eyes fell upon "tongue." Even "mandible" was comforting. But "inferior mesenteric artery?" As if I don't have enough self-esteem issues as it is. Now I've got inferior arteries--not the news you want to get right after the nurse sniffs at the numbers on the weight scale, marks on her clipboard and says "Just think of it as your IQ, honey."

Will do!

Common Bile Duct (That's right, all you common bile are over there in the nosebleed seats with the inferior arteries), major and minor duodenal papilla. Mucosa, haustra.

The special this evening is a poached salmon with warm spinach and currents finished with a lovely haustra reduction.

Buncha lousy tubes. I wonder if the superior mesenteric artery makes fun of the common hepatic duct. Or if the ileum is a botanical genus.

People say that if a smoker could see the damage the smoke is causing, they'd quit in a minute. But their lungs are hidden away inside. After sitting next to this thing in a paper gown for a half hour, I don't think I'll purchase another meat item that boasts a "natural casing" for as long as I live.