Brought to my attention by Dr. Douglas Hoffman, I am ecstatic to introduce the Aneros hands-free anal sphincter-assisted prostate stimulator. This revolutionary device allows a man to achieve electrifying, often unsurpassed orgasms (also known as "Super-Os"). Click here to visit the official site.
For the safety and convenience of my readers, below is a video wherein I briefly outline how to use this revolutionary device.
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Making small thing grand and grand things small.
Erin O'Brien
All Things O'Brien
Say it on the Owner's Manual
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25 comments:
Hi erin! i love how you cracked up in the middle of the video...even more, though, i loved the testimonials on the website...who really writes things like that?
anywho.
gracias for your comment on my blog, and i do much prefer Minister of Quality Erotica to Bill's secretary. Minister > secretary any day! :-D
Looking at that picture, I have no idea how that device is supposed to work. I think I'd like to keep it that way, actually. I refuse to watch the video or do any exploring of the official site.
To quote the greatest philosopher of our time, The Dude: "Well, I still jerk off manually."
I'd buy that thing only if Ron Popeil said it was okay.
It sounds a little complex. And yet, as we all know, such quality "hands free" experiences are worth pushing for and should not be sniffed at.
BTW The way you read the manual was both good-humoured and wildly erotic.
Merci, Madame.
Wow. You're good. I would have cracked up all the way through that. I also found it crazy funny that a man walked by the door at the beginning. The whole time I expected him to somehow hear you and return.
If video searched worked better you'd be getting some awesome search phrases on your weblogs. Here's to handsfree everything.
Oh, just use another guy's dick.
Fine subject and presentation, I just skipped most of it, I am not an an, how do you say, an... analist? I lied about the presentation part, cause I did not watch the video...JW
I can't watch that because I'm in the middle of Harvey and Eck (page 83!) and I would hear your voice and your Cleveland accent talking about prostate massagers.
Waaay too complicated. It's like they want you to fail. I don't think I could handle the disappointment of being forced to use my hands.
I agree with shaina -- the best part is when you cracked up. BTW shaina, you are well on your way to being thoroughly corrupted. If you would only spend more time at that figging website, we could bring you all the way home.
Fuck. I was eating my lunch. I am not sure that prostates go well with tuna pasta salad...
Everyone: I don't think the massager will take off. Someone forgot to tell the good folks over at Aneros that MEN CANNOT READ INSTRUCTIONS. And it seems pretty obvious to me that if you give this baby a go freestyle, you are in for some real trouble.
Also, I think this thing will scare the hell out of men. In fact, I'm going to buy one and carry it around. If some man comes and turns out to be effer, I'll pull it out and say, "Hey baby, howzabout I give 'ya a lil' sphincter assisted prostate stimulation?" Then I'll hold this mother up and he'll crumple to the floor screaming like a vampire before a cross!
Minister Shaina: In your new capacity, you might have to study this thing a little closer than you'd like. ERF!
The Big Sombrero: Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Go directly to Cleveland.
Farouk: If you buy today, Popeil will include a second Progasm for ABSOLUTELY FREE!
Winters: You get my vote every single time. Every Single Time. Is there a price on your head in Paris? Every man must smolder with fury over your charm.
Pocket: That was the Goat in the background. He saw the picture associated with today's post and asked if it was a new kitchen tool. I didn't say anything.
Da Nator: But that doesn't have a perineal stimulator!
JW: Go get Roscoe. Then you and S11 can watch it together and that way you won't be so afraid.
Dean: purrrrr.
Doug: THAT LINK is downright frightening!
JJ: Tuna Prostate Salad? Yum!
Okay. My lunch has been discarded. I have been able to watch this. I cannot believe it took you 1:50 to crack up.
Nice work Erin. Very nice.
Erin was just on my site chased me off with that damned device of hers and now I'm hiding over here while she looks for me over here...What did I do to that gal? Uhoh gotta run!
Hands free? That's what you girls are for. I recently learned the colonoscopy crap that I'll soon have to endure on a yearly basis isn't so bad. They give us drugs not only to knock us out, but also to not remember. Wait a minute... Nah... my Doc is a woman.
Btw, I love how Goat walks past.
I got this service from my primary care physician during my last physical. And it was free. Unless you count my co-pay. And the $20 tip I left on the examination table.
Only she didn't give me 20 minutes to relax and concentrate on my prostate. It was on your side, knees to your chest and away we go!!!
One good thing about the hands-free prostate stimulator is that you never have to have conversations with it that begin, "Remember that one time when I was good all weekend and you were in that really crazy mood and you..."
That, and you will never cross-channel and end up getting served a Caesar salad in bed. I mean, worse fates than that could befall you. Unless you really don't like anchovies.
Jane: Maybe you and I can figure these things out and take control of the men. They'll be so enthralled with their hands-free super-oh's, they won't know what!
Joshy-Woshy? Come on over here and let mama give you a present...
Paul: I'm sure there are some nice misters out there who would do it for free, 20 mins included.
Zen: You could get a date for sure based solely on that conversations snippet. Add to that an offer of a Ceasar salad in bed and, baby, you'll be ringing her bell in no time.
No! you will accupressure me!
OMI!OMI! I forget how (effin much!) I totally heart you!
(smiling!)
P.S. you are so damn CUTE to look at, too!
Sounds confusing. I think your post needs some video directions. I'm game. I'll give it a try. Twenty minutes!!!???
Oh, and I think you mean "chode" or "grundle".
Joshy: Mama promises that it won't hurt a bit ...
~d: You're here! Good. You're with me and Jane.
Merk: Dunno, the vid will really need some eye candy if we have to sit through 20 mins of relaxation. Better find a guys with one sweet ass or tight korpuffle flumindator.
Sold! :-D
"...tight korpuffle flumindator..."
Now *that* is what makes the difference between a good writer and a *great* writer! Classic!
As always, I bow down to you.
~DogsDontPurr
I have a feeling we will look back on this video with the secondary function of a control group for gate & pace. The Goat's gate & pace, that is.
I just get the feeling that next time we see him do an upstage cross on an O'Brien video he will be walking like a cowboy.
These things are fantastic. I mean that literally - the sensation was unlike anything I'd ever experienced, and now that I'm more "aware" of my body I don't even need the thing to get the same effect.
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