Friday, November 03, 2006

The pudendal cleft

Men* are endlessly fascinated with female genitalia. They practically deify it. Take fellow blogger Doug Hoffman for instance. He hosted an hilarious labia-fest in this post, which he then revisited with bragging rights on soaring hitcounts and a Mary Tyler Moore feature (MooreToe™) here.

Personally, I prefer the term "cleft of Venus" over the animalistic "cameltoe." (Although I must admit that "cameltoe" projects a more accurate visual image.) There is also "pudendal cleft," perfect for the gynecological set.

Labia! Labia! Labia!

It's funny how the world happily celebrates labia, but clitorides (the plural form of clitoris, pronounced clitorideez) are pretty much kept under wraps. Men* love the idea of the opening, the entrance, the gateway to the vaginal canal, but that other organ found within terrifies the living daylights out of them.

Honestly, gentlemen. Grow up already.

Now for a few links:

The Camel-Toe Report. I love that the associated URL sports a dot-org extension.

Cameltoe Yellow Pages. Let your fingers do the walking, it's a snap!

Cameltoe Forum. Become a member and enjoy forums on topic such as Cameltoe pictures, movies and stories, as well as Celebrity Cameltoe.

(Cameltoe stories?)

*By no means to I mean to exclude the lesbian population. I am simply not qualified to comment on its part in the celebration of the female nether parts, perhaps because the fairer homosexuals are not as brashly vocal about all of this. Whatever the case, I duly encourage lesbians far and wide to comment copiously in this post.


Norm said...

Oh no, oh no, I beg to differ, O'Brien. Vaginae and clitorides are all fine and good, but for >> 90% of guys it's all about the boobs.

Dongley Shlongford said...

Cleft of Venus sounds like some little known oceanic trench.

I prefer: "Eating her jeans"
or : "Read her lips", as in: "wow, you can really read her lips".

scumbag said...

sometimes i call it a mooseknuckle.

Friends of McDougal said...

This blog makes me hungry.

~d said...

now i remember why i wear SKIRTS!

~d heart Erin

Libby Spencer said...

How big a dork am I if I admit I didn't know a cameltoe was until I read this post? So glad that's cleared up.

Jesus Toast said...

I'm all about the clit. Lickity-clit is my motto. I of course don't ignore the labia (I prefer the left side) nor the vaginal opening, they all get their fare share of licks...but I do enjoy a good session underneath the clitoral hood.

Hal said...

Rather than call it anything, I simply extend my first two fingers, hold them together, crook them about halfway down, and then point the two knuckles towards whomever I'm talking to.

Instantly, they know what I'm talking about.

By the way, a very vocal lesbian who is known to be brashly vocal in her celebration of, and lust for pussy showed me that joke.

doris day said...

as the resident E o'B lesbian, i don't have a whole lot to say on the subject... kind of a fan of that whole area, but fascinated? not so much... got my own, know how it works*

*references furnished upon request

Bugwit Homilies said...

There is such a thing as too much of a good thing!

I little is fine. When you can see dylight between the lips, I have to look away!

~d said...

GOT DARN IT! Doris Day, you are a lesbian?! I believe you are supposed to share the bubble bath with Erin and I.
HOW very exciting for me! I am not sure I have ever had a lesbian in a bubble bath.
I hope you are still (uhhh) coming.
( ♥ )

Pammy said...

"Clitorides"? Ahhh. Clitorides. Now I remember. He was one of those Greek philosophers.

Bobby Farouk said...

I celebrate the belly and the corner of a half-smile.

Dean said...

I'm a fan of 'Cleft of Venus'.

And I, for one, have no fear of the Man in the Boat.

Loudlush said...

Clitorides is such a fabulous word. What is the collective noun we should apply here? A gaggle of clitorides? A flock? An armada? An ambush???

Pammy said...

Collective noun? How about cete? Charm? Class? My personal favorite is 'clench'. A clench of clitorides.

The clitorides are in a clench. Sounds kinda musical, huh?

Click? Clutch isn't bad, either.

Doug said...

That anatomical diagram of the female pudendum scares me. What curious virginal male looking at that image wouldn't be terrified of the clitoris? The whole thing looks like a pink scorpion, the clitoris a stinger, poised to strike.

I'm not clitorophobic, Erin. I love the whole package. If I wrote a post featuring a bunch of clitorides, though, I would be authoring a much different blog.

Thanks for the lurve, babe.

Brookelina said...

I'd like to spend some quality time with Jesus Toast please.

Henri Banks said...

thats why I love woman in skirts woooaahh :-)
Cunnilingus is the act of using the mouth and tongue to stimulate the female genitals, especially the clitoris. The term comes from an alternative Latin word for the vulva (cunnus) and from the Latin word for tongue (lingua). Only one-third of women orgasm easily during the actual act of intercourse. Masturbation and cunnilingus are alternative ways for women to achieve orgasm with a partner. Most women can orgasm easily during clitoral or pubic area stimulation.

As in all human sexual behaviour, the variety of techniques in cunnilingus and individual responses to them are almost endless. As always, communication, experimentation and practice are the best way to learn how to please a particular partner.

The clitoris is the most sensitive part for almost all women, but may be too sensitive to stimulate directly at times, especially in early stages of arousal, and it is often best to begin with more gentle and less focused stimulation of the labia and the whole genital area. Ron Jeremy has advised in several films that a clockwise, counterclockwise, all over the place approach is more important than focusing solely on the clitoris.[citation needed] Tongue tip, blade or underside can be used, as can the nose, chin, lips and teeth (with caution). Movements can be slow or fast, regular or erratic, firm or soft as the moment requires. The tongue can be inserted into the vagina, either stiffened or moving. Humming to cause vibration while performing cunnilingus is often considered to be especially arousing, with certain pitches, rhythms or tunes thought to be particularly effective by different people.

PDD said...

I am not a lesbian but I do enjoy les porn from time to time.

I bless my lucky stars every night that my clitoris is never ignored.

fhb3 said...

OK, I admit it... we men do indeed love the female genitalia; hell, I too deify the female genitalia, but isn't a "cameltoe cup" a bit too much?

Good Lord, I'm glad that ad was bogus...

oxo said...

It was my understanding that all women have pudendal clefts or clefts to venus but that only trashy girls with jeans too short in the crotch had camel toes.

Vesper said...

HILARIOUS post. you rock!

Anonymous said...

"Men* are endlessly fascinated with female genitalia. They practically deify it."

Your comment is interesting since I was never allowed to see a naked female of any age. The girls could look at the boys but not the reverse. I was married for 12 years and never saw her cleft (too much hair). I divorced when I got tired of begging. At age 42 and before I got serious with my girlfriend I told her about my problem. She stripped down, shaved, and gave me a tour. We have been together 15 years now.

You wonder why men use violence toward women. You keep all the secrets.

signed Suffered Enough

Anonymous said...

Hey Dongley;

"Cleft of Venus sounds like some little known oceanic trench."

Wet and deep?
You ain't wrong there man!

Anonymous said...

When I was a naive teenager and saw the gaping image next to "vulva" in the dictionary I was astounded and disappointed because I had always fantasized about a beautiful sweet little slit. What was all of that stuff?
I have evolved since then but still prefer the unmatched magnificence of "labia majora and the cleft between", pristinely shaved.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, the poor patient guy, said that after 12 years of begging he still had not seen his wife's cleft. What a frustrating disaster. After divorce, he had a girlfriend who shaved and gave him a fantastic tour, and they have been married for 15 years.

This might be a clue for some of you insistent "Well it's only natural." women. So are hairy armpits. Isn't it ironic that the most uniquely and quintessentially female part of you, is also the least feminine? Yes, some men prefer it that way, and some of us do not.

I would gladly shave the base of my massive member for my woman, if that were her wish.

Of course we men are endlessly facinated with female genitalia and practically deify them. After all, you have God's Most Magnificent Masterpiece. Here's clear proof. Your fantastic genitalia:
1. Are the site of all human conception.
2. Are the site of all human birth.
3. And are the site of the greatest pleasure between a woman and a man.
4. And are the site of the greatest pleasure between a woman and, God love em, another woman.

I tumescently rest my case.