Ch-ch-ch-chia!

"Want another beer?" says my associate.

"Sure," I say, "I'll have another beer." We are sitting at my kitchen table. The conversation lulls. We sip our beer.

"That the kid's Chia Pet?" asks my associate.

"Yeah," I say. "That's a Chia Pet." We both look at the Chia Pet.

"Grows pretty good," says my associate.

"Yeah," I say. "Just like they show on t.v."

"Yeah."

"Kinda dumb," I say. "A dumb cat Chia Pet."

"It is kinda dumb."

"They should do something better," I say."

"Yeah?" says my associate.

"Yeah," I say. I look at my associate. She looks at me. "Like a Chia Dick," I say deliberately.

"Chia Dick," she says. "I like it." We both nod slowly.

"Could be a huge wanker," I say.

"And you could put the seeds on the balls," she says.

"And it would grow hairy balls!" I say.

"Yeah!" she says.

We laugh and burp and drink our beers with gleeful satisfaction. Our guffaws subside.

"Hey," I say, "why not a Chia Chick, too?"

"Why not!" says my associate.

"But not just a zorch," I say. " A whole torso. Sort of like that Venus de Milo chick. That way, she could grow hair under her arms too!"

"Brilliant! Hairy armpits!"

"Ha!"

"Ha ha!"

The Chia Pet stares back at us unamused.

"Dumb Chia Pet," I say.

"Want another beer?" says my associate.

"Sure," I say, "I'll have another beer."