I'm pretty sure any of these admissions could get me sent straight to one of Dubya's firing squads, but, hey, I feel I owe you people the truth. Sometimes I pass out at my desk and my dearly beloved loves to take a picture of that.
Sometimes I listen to Neil Diamond. Holly Holy. And James Taylor. And Barbara Striesand.
Nearly every tooth in my head has a filling.
I love sporks, but only if they're plastic from some fast food place or some shit like that. I wouldn't trust a metal spork, its maker or its user.
After I fry bacon, I pour the resulting fat in a coffee can and put it in the fridge. Got about two years worth of stratified oink fat in there as we speak. Sometimes I use it for stuff I cook. Potato soup is one thing. Sauteeing onions. Can't think of what else right now.
After my dad died, I took his on-the-go tool box and set it under my desk. It's still there. That was almost four years ago.
24 comments:
We are so soul sisters, well except for the bacon grease. I'm scared of that stuff.
You're cute when you sleep.
The spork think won't get you sent to Gitmo, but the Neil Diamond thing might. I'm a "Shilo" fan myself.
Awww. Isn't she cute folks? Just want to pinch her little cheeks and fix her a cup of cocoa with petite marshmellows in it.
Why don't the call them foons? That's what I want to know. Plus, the tines should be just a little longer. Usually those tiny tines just snap off into whatever food item I'm trying to stab and haul to my mouth. Perhaps I am just being to rough with the delicate spork ...
Only KFC had sporks right?
And at least your teeth don't receive radio stations.
Shortly after the wheel was invented, along came the spork.
You're cute when you sleep. And you have cute feet.
Why don't you need the Snoring Stones when you sleep at the computer?
I'm just saying.
I hate sporks. Can we still be friends?
Sporks are fun to put in peoples' yards late at night, place about 100 of them in there, they can't mow over them. They have to remove them one by one. Cooking with old bacon grease is the secret to a many good recipes. YOU GO! Well when you wake up anyway, never good to cook while sleeping!
I guess we need to write more interesting blogs! Sleep tight, Princess, you're safe from that mean old Bushy monster.
A delightful image. And I am, needless to say, not referring to the spork.
"People" is great. Poor old Harry. He should have left with Jane.
Good morning Sunshine!
After I fry bacon, I pour the resulting fat in a coffee can and put it in the fridge. Got about two years worth of stratified oink fat in there as we speak. Sometimes I use it for stuff I cook. Potato soup is one thing. Sauteeing onions. Can't think of what else right now.
All-natural sex lube? I'm betting. That's probably where the term 'to pork' came from.
Libby: Fear not the bacon grease, my child. I wilst anoint thou with it and thou wilst be saved.
Sleepy: You cannot hear the snores. The snores are not cute.
Helen: I like the way you say 'petite' instead of 'mini.' And why don't they call them 'foons?'
Bostick: I'm not sure. Maybe Taco Bell.
Farouk: I do have teeth. And a few other things.
Gilligan: My teeth do recieve radio stations. I have to listen to Rush Limbaugh every day. This is my penance on earth.
JW: And then came the Liberator Wedge.
Dean: when I fall asleep at the computer, the situation is WAY beyond snoring stones.
Brookelina: I am over the spork thing, baby. No worries.
DykesDog: I love that spork in the neighbor's yard trick. That'll show 'em!
Bug: I am never safe from the mean old bushy monster.
Winters: So true about my friend Harry. Lesson: Never feud on gasoline storage tanks.
Jozee: and what's the story morning glory?
Dean: The idea of using bacon fat for sex lube has just ruined my dearly beloved's chances of getting any today. Ugh!
wow you look real sweet when you sleep !!!
I know we don't know each other, but I like you even better just reading all that! hahah Imperfect people of the world UNITE!
Nearly every tooth in my head has a filling.
Only nearly? I have you so beat.
SPORK!!!!
I like to cook green beans in bacon fat. Mmmmm!
Holla at sporks.
And may Dad, well, may Dad be fine where he is, and may you, Erin always remember, and never forget.
off the top of my head: my fav Neil Diamond. Although I can do most any of them!
tsk tsk, as a fellow diva who delights in her music, i must correct the spelling of barbra streisand.... just to be difficult.
Now back when I was a mewling puking babe (during WWII)the women folk in my family saved pork fat in coffee cans.
The gunk was turned over to the guv'ment to make bombs (or was it soap?) for the GI's.
The point is, maybe you could turn it over to Dubya to make bombs. Or maybe Dick can use it for KY Jelly when he comes over!?
That reminds me of a serious story. No, really.
Friend of my wife's family was a professor at Beloit. After WWII he joined the Quakers in their European relief effort and distributed food and CARE packages in particularly devastated parts of Germany. The most precious thing to the reliefees, and what they lacked the most, was fat, for cooking and whatnot. Perhaps all their pork fat had gone to the Wehrmacht for their bombs. Or soap. So the random arrival of a can of bacon in a CARE package (pauses and notes everyone's lips moving "can? of bacon?" Yes. Can. I don't know either) was greeted with joy and happiness, and the fat was carefully husbanded (wived, whatever) and reused. I just remember reading about this in his memoir and being struck by all the work we do to avoid that stuff and it was the most valuable thing (more useful than Hershey bars even) to those people.
Anyway, between the spork and the can'o'grease under the sink, you would have been the most popular woman in Hamburg in 1946. Also the hotness, but that's another story.
Sporks are banned from my new house - they just aren't right! I have not lived here long, but one of the first things I put in my fridge was a bacon grease can. You are not alone!
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