Thursday, March 16, 2006

Human bumper stickers

My two favorite tee-shirts:

1) On a gay woman with whom I went to college: "Whip me, beat me, call me trash. Fuck me like the dirty pig that I am. Cum all over my face, tell me you love me then get the fuck out."

2) On a 400 pound man who used to frequent one of my favorite drinking establishments: "If God had not intended man to eat pussy, he wouldn't have made it look like a taco."


PDD said...

Ha! Those are good.

However, your friend seems to be a little schizophrenic, or at least promotes schizophrenia, no?

I want the 400 pound man's shirt. Please ask him if there is anyway I can get a copy next time you run into him.



The Velvet Fog said...

Seen in a T-shirt shop in Harpers Ferry West Virgina:

Now let's you just drop them pants

Why I didn't buy it is beyond me.

nicole said...

Just WOW on that second one. As to the first, I can't imagine what that would cost per letter to get printed...

Hope Dangling said...

I think the gay woman should wear the 400 lb guy's shirt, and he should wear the other one. But I'm like that.

Hope Dangling said...

and where is Shad's nekkid pic??? (Not that yer nekkid pic doesn't make me JUST as happy...I LOVE your nekkid pic too.)

Hal said...

Two memorable ones for me:

I was living on Capitol Hill, the gay neighborhood in Seattle during the 1992 election, when Clinton ran against Shrub the elder, and a few weeks before election day, all the lesbians were sporting t-shirts that said, "lick bush."

They reappeared when Shrub the lesser first ran in 2000.

The second one was in a gas station in a small coastal Washington town called Humptulips. The shirt had "Hump U" in big block letters.

garrett said...

I love this game!

I saw this one in a Wal-Mart in Porter, Texas (and was perplexed by it for longer than I care to confess; I was sure there was a joke in it somewhere, but couldn't solve the riddle for some minutes).





FLAMINGO1 said...

Garrett, that took you more than a few seconds to figure out?



One of my big fat drunk friends got a shirt in Mexico that says, "This isn't a beer belly - it is a fuel tank for the love machine"

The other one bought a shirt that said, "Fuck You, You Fucking Fuck"

Ahh, I love my friends.

I bought one with the name of the Mexican stripper bar that threw us out. Bad night...long story.

COMM-D said...

My Godde, Garrett...I lived in Porter for two years and I never saw such a thing at our friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart. I can't believe I missed out!

Me said...

Ack, I had that shirt! I bought it when I was 14 and had to keep it hidden in my drawer and sneak it out of the house to wear. But wear it I did. Mine was a little different though:
Beat me
Bite me
Whip me
Fuck me
Cum all over my tits and tell me that you love me, then get the fuck out. I loved that shirt and I remember buying it mostly because of how good saying the last part felt. Some things you never grow out of. I guess I couldn't get away with wearing it now... sigh

Toby said...

On the fat guy taco thing...

"Does this tee-shirt make me look fat?"