Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Asphalt Romeo and Junkyard Juliet

So the husband and I are on what I call a walk and what he calls a "forced death march." We come upon this scene, which is situated on the other side of the busy thoroughfare.

I stop. After a few steps, he realizes that I am no longer beside him (a delayed reaction response from which he suffers in most of his life's permutations). As the traffic whizzes by us, he turns around and looks at me standing there, six feet behind him. His brow collapses and that bewildered lost quizzical expression with which I am so familiar blooms.

"Hey," I say, grinning widely and bobbing my eyebrows up and down in an appetizing, come-hither way. I nod my head, indicating the inviting roadside davenport. "Wanna make out?"

19 comments:

garrett said...

Fantastic title to this entry. But I notice you did not include a disclaimer regarding this photo, leading me to believe this thing has been photo-shopped from Fingers Furniture to I-55.

How disgraceful. The lengths to which you'll go for a cheap laugh.

P.S.
Did he take you up on it? What name was on his shirt?

Erin O'Brien said...

Oh my darling garrett, do you actually think I'd kiss and tell? For what sort of girl do you take me?

That said, I can absolutely assure you that this photo, save for some cropping to eliminate the house in the background, is completely untouched. Me, my photos and my blog are 100 percent real. After all, it's not as though I'm transmitting from (ahem) Purvis.

Garrett said...

Sofa's found along the road like this are usually home to some fantastic urine samples of the feline variety.

I can't get enough of that smell.

Sherpa said...

love the title.

PoP said...

Isn't that nice a couch playing in the leaf pile. i always enjoyed watching my kids do that.

PDD said...

That couch looks very similar to the one I send my actors out for auditions. Hmmm... something is fishy...

PDD said...

Erin, chuck/linda/i don't remember the rest quite honestly, has spawned another personality: kelly d.

I'm glad that we have all figured out the whole Purvis disaster. I no longer have the energy to say anymore to these juvenile delinquents. That's my story... and I guess... "The real deal".

Chuck Dawson said...

Kelly D. is not one of mine!

FLAMINGO1 said...

You were thinking about making out and I was wondering whether there was still any loose change in that baby...I like your idea better.

lucette said...

I love the couch picture! I propose you do a series of things left on people's lawns.

(this is MG, under the alias)

Karen Rani said...

So you did right?

Karen Rani said...

BTW, you are sofa king funny.

PDD said...

In the situation I'm in right now, I think Pinky's idea is better.

Eddo said...

That was awesome! Hilarious as ever.

Erin O'Brien said...

What truly struck me about the couch was that it was in the leaf pile. A couch on the lawn isn't all that unusual. Nor is the leafpile.

But what was this guy thinking? That the city guys would come along with their vac truck and suck the couch right up with the leaves?

Did he say to his wife, "Hey, honey, I know! We'll just put the couch out with the leaves!"

And did she say, "Oh, Reginald! You're such a genius! No one will ever notice a couch in the leaf pile!"

But, as with all weird things I encounter on my walks, this spectacle shall disappear as do all the others and I'll never unravel the mysteries of the associated motivations or the outcomes.

garrett said...

I would just like to take this moment to compliment "mama k" for the most cleverest concealed curse I've ever seen.

"sofa king" funny is just genius.

kudos.

FLAMINGO1 said...

Damn you Erin...I am now going to spend the rest of my life wondering about the diapers, the beer can, the bra and that stupid couch.

By the way, couch is a funny word...couch, couch, couch. The word has now lost all meaning to me. Couch.

FLAMINGO1 said...

Still wondering why the couch is in the leaves...as well as whether there is any change in it.

PDD said...

This is where 50 CENT dwells