tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18122582.post6403444797676929592..comments2024-02-15T02:46:48.670-05:00Comments on Erin O'Brien: Alternative fortune cookie fortunesErin O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09089592061725346901noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18122582.post-76549465930972343782009-02-05T14:24:00.000-05:002009-02-05T14:24:00.000-05:00"You will eat the Body of the Host, and"--WAIT! Th..."You will eat the Body of the Host, and"--WAIT! <BR/><BR/>That's a whole different wafer.Kirkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02155991693956178030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18122582.post-15965691282491439422009-02-05T10:05:00.000-05:002009-02-05T10:05:00.000-05:00"You will die in a flaming car wreck""Your wife th..."You will die in a flaming car wreck"<BR/><BR/>"Your wife thinks you're a dick"<BR/><BR/>"You will retire to Toledo"<BR/><BR/>"That's not chicken"Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14324715534259535649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18122582.post-33516712983178897622009-02-02T13:39:00.001-05:002009-02-02T13:39:00.001-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Kirkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02155991693956178030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18122582.post-80061101066742175742009-02-02T13:39:00.000-05:002009-02-02T13:39:00.000-05:00"You will watch a Billy Wilder movie starring Jack..."You will watch a Billy Wilder movie starring Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthew that takes place in Cleveland and has some great shots of the old stadium (the one they tore down because the NFL said so)Kirkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02155991693956178030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18122582.post-386186861379245162009-02-01T17:48:00.000-05:002009-02-01T17:48:00.000-05:00You will meet a short, bald, hapless sad sack.Grav...You will meet a short, bald, hapless sad sack.<BR/><BR/>Gravity will give you saggy tits. <BR/><BR/>Your next home will be a cardboard box. <BR/><BR/>We lied. There's MSG in your food.Libby Spencerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01915834698802726985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18122582.post-62258631538327134322009-02-01T14:41:00.000-05:002009-02-01T14:41:00.000-05:00"You will send all your manufacturing jobs over he..."You will send all your manufacturing jobs over here."Kirkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02155991693956178030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18122582.post-70668921353699419302009-02-01T13:54:00.000-05:002009-02-01T13:54:00.000-05:00So when are you going to launch these? Can I plac...So when are you going to launch these? Can I place my order now?Carlahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08423696800295940382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18122582.post-9636725008679386352009-02-01T00:45:00.000-05:002009-02-01T00:45:00.000-05:00"Your wife thinks you have a small dick"Please tel..."Your wife thinks you have a small dick"<BR/><BR/>Please tell me that's one the goat got last week...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18122582.post-20119071322556030752009-01-31T23:00:00.000-05:002009-01-31T23:00:00.000-05:00"You're a money-thieving asshole who deserves a sp..."You're a money-thieving asshole who deserves a special place in Hell." - A fortune cookie for Bernie Madoff.<BR/><BR/>"You will win the lottery today, and be hit by a bus."<BR/><BR/>"You will star in an episode of Dateline NBC's "To Catch a Predator."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18122582.post-78668164877273476492009-01-31T20:31:00.000-05:002009-01-31T20:31:00.000-05:00PS--How about, "The waiters are making fun of you ...PS--How about, "The waiters are making fun of you in Chinese, in case you wondered what they are laughing about."<BR/><BR/>I also like, "There is an image of Buddha somewhere in this restaurant. Look hard and you will find it."Zen Wizardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10932736559039078183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18122582.post-75531093687540857802009-01-31T20:27:00.000-05:002009-01-31T20:27:00.000-05:00My favorite of all time is, "You will be hungry ag...My favorite of all time is, "You will be hungry again in approx. 1-hour..."Zen Wizardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10932736559039078183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18122582.post-41692524245407899342009-01-31T19:38:00.000-05:002009-01-31T19:38:00.000-05:00Hey, have you been talking to my wife?Hey, have you been talking to my wife?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18122582.post-82614467239257050932009-01-31T18:15:00.000-05:002009-01-31T18:15:00.000-05:00"You're a silly wiper of other people's bottoms.""..."You're a silly wiper of other people's bottoms."<BR/><BR/>"In a battle of wits, you're practically unarmed."<BR/><BR/>"When we want your opinion, we'll give it to you."<BR/><BR/>"You have the mental agility of a small soapdish."<BR/><BR/>Al<BR/>TRAGAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18122582.post-87734197024396021252009-01-31T14:22:00.000-05:002009-01-31T14:22:00.000-05:00"Don't believe anything the astrologer, the palm r..."Don't believe anything the astrologer, the palm reader, the crystal ball gazer, or the Ouigi board tells you. I'm the real deal!"Kirkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02155991693956178030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18122582.post-3038863999666073172009-01-31T11:52:00.000-05:002009-01-31T11:52:00.000-05:00"You write anonymous emails to female newspaper co..."You write anonymous emails to female newspaper columnists."deanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07410064795682939760noreply@blogger.com