Thursday, July 07, 2011

Dear Lord,

Why does my right underarm perspire more than my left underarm?

Yes, I apologized to my family for making them see Super 8. For the record, I think you started off  real good with Speilberg (Duel was pure genius). Whatever went south there ain't your fault.

Sometimes I feel like my whole house is tilted (not an action item on your part, just one for the notebook.)

If you could get folks to cut down on using the phrase, this becomes especially important as we age, I'd appreciate that.

Thanks for beer from a can, wine from a jug and whiskey from a mason jar.

I'm still waiting for Godot.

What are you going to do with Hefner when he croaks?

Please do not tell anyone about my obsession with men with facial hair, the little problem I had that one night in Fort Lauderdale, or that the weight listed on my driver's license is ... well ... you know.

Dream Whip: love the stuff. Not sure who to credit, though: you or the guy in the red suit with the pitchfork.

You've got a lot of tight asses down here worried too much about their money. You might want to do something about that. No rush, but I wouldn't let it go too long if I were you.

Nice job on this sunrise.

*  *  *

22 comments:

danb said...

I thought Super 8 was just crap, plain and simple. I was expecting something along the lines of Close Encounters crossed with a bit of JJ Abrams version of Star Trek, but, alas, it was nothing more than a flaming shopping bag full of dog crap.

danb

Harry Finch said...

If you are a righthanded writer, then you sweat more in the right underarm because you are working so hard to come up with the perfect words. This means you are writing well.

If you are a lefthanded writer and still sweat more on the right side, then this is evidence that Harold Camping is correct and we are all going to die in October.

So please, if you have been writing lefthanded, show a little humanity and switch to the right. Some of us are not ready to go yet.

Erin O'Brien said...

Dan and Harry: yes.

Harry Finch said...

Are you saying you write righthanded? or that I should start enjoying the few sunrises left?

Erin O'Brien said...

Yes.

Bill said...

Letters from the Earth II by EOB.

Vince said...

How's about you get your sweet little rump to a doctor. For anytime you get a noticeable imbalance between right and left sides, considering your age and sex, it's well worth strapping the chassis to a diagnostic computer.
You don't really want to ask those Q directly, just yet eh.

J9 said...

That switch plate makes me think someone in the religious artifacts manufacturing business is either so clueless it isn't funny, or is so in on the irony of it that it is hysterically funny and sad at the same time.

Erin O'Brien said...

Bill: Take me to your leader?

Vince: response deleted by the Administration's better judgement

J9: I'm thinking clueless and hysterically funny.

ahclem said...

Re: Godot: Must go here. (And I actually have one of those switch plates.)

alphadog said...

I liked the Super 8 just fine. It's actually a step up from the Days Inn.

Erin O'Brien said...

ahclem: Sure wish I could have read that version in high school.

alph: all I can tell you is that the film version was a bunch of steps down from probably every other movie playing in the multiplex

Leslie Morgan said...

Hey, Alph, 'zat down there by the No Tell Motel?

Leslie Morgan said...

Dear Lord, I swear it's true, and will be TMI for most people. Why does one of my legs grow 250% of the stubble of the other leg? On the kneecaps, even, while the other does not?

Erin O'Brien said...

L--I'll trade your stubble for my perspiration. Or we can go halvesies. Dutch treat? Dunno. Figure it out and will cut a deal.

Why isn't anyone talking about the Dream Whip?

Harry Finch said...

God is not pleased with Dream Whip. He told me the other day that it was a mistake. He is so displeased with it that if you go to Wikipedia you will find there is no separate entry for it. That's the kind of power God has; that is how He manifests His anger.

Anonymous said...

Erin-sorry, can't type, covered in Dreamwhip...
Sincerely,
Several of us

wv: 'retra'-Mr Mechlenborg, retra-active to April 22, yer lahcince is suhspendid...

Erin O'Brien said...

HF and anon: Yes, I have a packet of DW in my pantry right now. I am at once proud and ashamed of this fact.

Yes, I already knew that wiki did not have a DW entry. Harry, before you posted this, how many others were there on this square? The "wiki has no dream whip entry" square?

Dunno.

I intend to tweet about this immediately.

Harry Finch said...

I just went to Wikipedia and typed in Dream Whip, which directed me Cool Whip. Because God told me to do it that way.

Erin O'Brien said...

None of this bodes well.

Is my beloved Dream Whip in danger of BEING DISCONTINUED?

Leslie Morgan said...

I was too ashamed to comment about the Dream Whip. It seemed so unseemly. I am one of the Wiki annointed, but even I cannot wordsmith about Dream Whip, O'Brien.

Meet ya halfway re: the perspiration and the stubble! Bob likes me ANYWAY.

Harry Finch said...

Getting terribly stirred up about Dream Whip.